I'm sorry, but I just cannot revive my optimism for the human condition. I mean, we're such a horrid mess. Self-deceiving. Selfishly motivated. Consumed by emotion. What promise have we? How can we advance? We're just this sorry lump of organisms leeching and feeding on Life itself, addicted to our emotions, then expiring in nothing more than a whisper.

That's why last night (while waiting for the non-visible eclipse), I sat for an eternity on a chair facing the gate with Nick and Liyu, feeling the twilight thunderstorm.

I remember I used to be so naive. I trusted hope. Trusted love. Trusted the world.

I remember sitting in that rain years ago, telling myself with a smile that the world was a nice place, that people were good inside.

I remember feeling the raindrops touch my skin, the fresh wind kiss my face, and knowing that tomorrow will be brighter, that there is still much to live for.

Well.

Now the weight of each drop brings only sorrow. Sorrow. And despair.

Disappointment. Regret. Misuse. Abuse. Betrayal. Pain. Sadness. Futility. Hopelessness.

I swear, among the droplets on my face, there was one salty tear mourning the death of a child.

What a wonderful child too.


On a side note, otherwise pretty awesome study session with the guys and gals, except at one point Louis got quite hopelessly drunk on Jack Daniels. Hehe. And started trying to explain microeconomics. And other stuff. But it's fine!

Azazyl

Stench of humanity,
The rot of those fair.
Despair!
Of lost sanity and
Dreams never there.