And now for a once-in-a-long-time post.

Besides the fact that I probably chased off a lot of viewers with my recent inactivity, I know people don't really read my posts anyway. I don't really care. I'm just posting for the fun of it, savvy?

Which reminds me, I have don a few Sparrow antics recently. Like someone threw a rock near me and I was like.

*tries to shoo rock away*
"Now we're being followed by rocks. Never heard that one before."

And a few other quotes, as well as the constantly maintained quirky hand gestures. Jack Sparrow are my idol.

For some strange reason I have been constantly referred to as the devil. Or something. Some insists its a pun on my name but really lah. Its quite amusing how people react when I try to coax them into bending a rule or twisting a moral. Or curbing to temptation. For example, I did try to persuade someone to skip homework and jump straight to SPORE, and he loudly declared something along the lines of:

"Begone, demon! Devil! AntiChrist! GO BACK TO THE DEPTHS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME."

As much as I felt that my attempts at persuasion were flattered, I'd prefer if people just kept to a smaller role. Or something. Like the little devil inside all of your heads, constantly badgering all of you to succumb to temptation.

Which reminds me how my house is basically temptation haven. Most of the stuff here are for that main purpose anyway.

Which also reminds me how ART is, quite literally, in my name. Do the Math slash basic English, if you know who I really am, that is.

The DMP modules were fun. At least half of them were. There were two I'd like to take special notice of, one being the Cartooning and Caricature Made Easy one, where I was in the same class as Weng Hong. I'll post the caricature I drew of him if he permits me to and does not threaten to sue me. Don't hit me. D: The other was the Filmmaking one, co-starring Tan Wei Xuan as the evil sadistic bitch who, in one scene, pisses on the protagonist and slaps shit (literally) into his face. (I can imagine people going "who the bloody hell came up with those ideas?")

And since I'm bored, a little meme I leeched off Weng Hong's blog. Ha!


TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now, but don't mention names:

1. Uh. Gimme back my Chem File and palm drive. D:
2. YES I KNOW YOU'RE AT THE F1 RA- WAIT, WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
3. Pl0x gimme more extension for AEP work.
4. Sometimes blind faith, ignorance and naivety solves nothing, yeah? Keep that in mind.
5. Hope you get your eventual goal thing soon!
6. No I am not the Devil.
7. Yeah, you're a wonderful person and a great friend who constantly saves me from myself. Hee.
8. Um, good luck for your tournament thingum.
9. It would never have worked out between us. (unquote, nonetheless)
10. I'll wait forever.

NINE things about yourself:

1. My name is Daryl. Ha.
2. I was traumatized by many things as a kid, more so than many others. There is the common phobia of clowns (they're terrifying..), the Teletubbies (refer to earlier post) and a particular doll (huge one) that, if you insert a coin, will suddenly jump out, startling young kids and mentally traumatizing them for life, I think I posted about this earlier. Also traumatized when I got utterly lost in a huge vegetable field, explaining my allergy to the green flesh-sucking monstrosities.
3. I'm proud (sometimes) to be a Scorpio along with many many other perverts (except for me) I know. For we are the cruel masterminds and oversensitive, melodramatic, sexually active (or so believed) and ultimately evil potential dictators of the hooman race.
4. I don't know my eye color! Its definitely not brown. (prize for anyone who can tell me)
5. I am a firm believer in that "tell no lies but say no truth" thingum. So I do a lot of convenient avoiding and changing of topics, and the occasional not-answer-to-the-point gimmick. As well as phrase answers in ways that are to my favor.
6. I am a relative anti-establishment believer, and a rather fervent but silent supporter of anarchism. Shh. I might get sued D:
7. I believe in angels and demons, but not really in God and Satan.
8. I actually remember most of my dreams, unlike a few other people. Some of my dreams don't really make sense, including one of me having an unexplained fear over a TV show of squirrels, but some are terrifying, self-reflecting, and most importantly, present new ideas. There was this one where I walked through what I think was Zanarkand, and the feeling is beyond words. My reason in pursuing art includes the wish to show the world what I saw in those dreams.
9. I actually show signs of a slight split personality thing. But oh well, shant disclose lest we are really tracked by the Ambassadors of Evil.

EIGHT ways to win my heart:

Sorry mate, but my first and only love is the sea! (unquote) Nah, just kidding.

1. Be the best person in the entire world.
2. Be the kindest person in the entire world.
3. Be the sweetest person in the entire world.
4. Be the most perfect person in the entire world.
5. Think of me.
6. Care for me.
7. Love me.
8. Be Person A.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

Not thinking a lot. Lack of sleep + possible melanine poisoning + really low metabolism rate. And immunity to caffeine.

1. (recently) Shit.. AEP..
2. (when I wake up everyday) Okay, what shall I do today! Nothing. Okay.
3. (when I look at half-done artworks) ..I should get around to finishing it someday.
4. (when I see my handphone) Ring pl0x.
5. (when I see my guitar) ..my nails..
6. There's nothing to bloody eat, do or play in this house.
7. (some cliché thing you readers probably heard from me thousands of times.)

SIX things you do before you fall asleep:

1. Daydream. A lot.
2. Curse at brother's snoring.
3. Watch the day's events (if any) flash before my eyes.
4. Occasionally thrash the pillow slash bolster.
5. Sometimes lean on the balcony and feel pathetic in front of the stars.
6. Eat chocolates to stay awake and complete above five tasks.

FIVE people who mean a lot:

So many people.. I'll just put the first few in my mind right now.

1. Person A. Evidently?
2. Chia! For constantly going out of his way to talk to me even though he is either 1. terribly inconvenienced or 2. can't find anything to talk about so the conversation is strained or 3. is in a bad mood. Thanks. (:
3. Wes! For patiently listening to my constant rants earlier this year regarding a certain situation, and helping me live this long. As well as at times keeping me entertained. 8D
4. Uh. Weng Hong! Who provided me this memo which kept me entertained for the past many many minutes. Oh dear I think it has been an hour. ACK.
5. Jack Sparrow for redefining my sense of freedom as well as habits!

FOUR things you're wearing right now:

1. White long-sleeved 100% cotton shirt. (hart.)
2. Long wool (i think) pants. Jeans started to get troublesome, yes.
3. Uh. My specs? Adidas-like propaganda.
4. I'm really not wearing anything else? Unless you count underwear. Which I don't know the brand for. So there.

THREE songs that you listen to often:

1. No It Isn't by +44
2. Dance With The Devil by Breaking Benjamin
3. Bugs I guess? Highest play count, ignoring the song's length.

TWO things you want to do before you die:

1. Attain forgiveness from someone.
2. Make an epic difference in the world amidst fire and brimstone!

ONE confession:

1. I had actually attempted suicide, it wasn't like I wussed out or something. There was one instance where the blade accidentally broke, otherwise I'd be dead right now. But oh well.


Which thus reminds me (yes I use that phrase a lot) about a certain OIP. Which I won't be going for. Didn't even know when the signups were luh. Yet everyone is going. Sure, its in the holidays. But I know I'll feel super lonely. Once again, don't wanna be joining for the wrong reasons, but I sincerely want to go overseas and explore the world. Seriously. I want to know what it feels like and all. But since this is the way things are, I shant harp.

Oh, if anyone isn't going for the OIP rubbish, contact me and we'll organize something to get those cursed OIP boys jealous. Nah kidding. But we'll organize something.

Long post, but it more or less makes up for all that time?

I'll just. Sleep or something.

Tomorrow's another long year.

Post again later;

Edit:

You people probably expect me to cook up some random new philosophy of life, then add in a bit of witty humor and puns, followed by some begging statements slash paragraphs, ending off with a final punchline that more or less strikes true.

Well that's just the way I am. Savvy?

If you can't accept me for the person I am, the good and the bad, then I don't know what to say. For I am who I am, and I'm the same person that was, is, and will be.

Today was my free day, but also the most tiring one of the entire week. I don't know why. Lonely. Refuse to talk to anyone. Game crash. Ugh.

I seriously don't understand myself. I'm typing these posts in the strange belief that someone, or a particular some person, is actually reading them. The same way for months I've been typing, editting, deleting and then retyping paragraphs on Notepad, ranging from suicide notes to proclamations of love to a self-sacrificing goodbye (ironic they're all addressed to one and the same), and then somehow gaining the stupid, senseless satisfaction that that someone somehow knows about, has read and understands what is in those letters. Like an "I said what I wanted to say to a wall, with someone's picture on it, but it's okay" kinda feeling.

I feel so pathetic. Everything I've done these past nine months. Idiotic rambles, mistaken beliefs, misguided paranoia and empty, desperate promise after promise. Mistake after mistake. My failure, chance after chance, over and over again.

All I wanted was just.

Ugh. I feel so pathetic that I just.. can't believe I'm actually crying now

I'll just post because I'm bored and sore that my SPORE thingum crashed just before I was gonna save my game. I WAS LIKE, SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF SPACE AGE. And about to win some Warlowski (sp?) race thingum. *curses*

I'm spreading SPORE like spores! Same way I spread Warcraft. Only this time its punny! Weng Hong shall be named The First Spore. MUA HA HA HA.

*feels like screaming into someone's ear because he spent n hours on making a totally indestructable empire only to have it destroyed by a mere core program failure*

Warning goes out to all SPORE players: Save. Game. Constantly.

Waaah and I hear they're trying to play it in school too! But is okeh, I still pwnz0r them at all times. *smirk*

Haaah. Today had a ton of things I specifically wanted to remember so that I can make an interesting post, but totally forgot all of them. Drat.

Oh, some included Mr Law's interesting, random, pulled-out-of-nowhere-with-no-apparent-direct-relation-to-the-subject-at-hand analogies in the Super Compulsory Assembly Meeting. Better known as C.L.E. or S.C.A.M.. And perhaps OH. Shao Tong and the milkcurd.

SHAOTONG AND THE MILKCURD

Me: (something along the lines of) What's wrong with buying milkcurd? Seriously. Its not like its very expensive! In fact, you should spend your money lah, coz that's what money is for. It tastes quite nice also lor. If you don't buy now its really a wast-

Shao Tong: No! I'm not going to fall for your tricks! Just now I felt like going but now I won't go! Because I want to show you that your (thinks) persuasion sucks! Mua ha ha! The little devil in my head!

(pause)

Shao Tong: ..I go buy milkcurd.

(several minutes later comes back with ice pop and nuggets)

Me: Oh? Milkcurd leh?
Shao Tong: HAH. I didn't buy milkcurd! You FAIL!
Me: Yeah, but you bought something.
Shao Tong: ..shaddap.

And then there was making Ry come all the way to Kallang with me after school. And suanning (HUANG says Emperor insists on this spelling) him with the two times cheaper and two times larger milk tea sold there. Hear that? Everyone come Kallang!

Ah, to Bao Ju who is going to leave us for America soon. Have a nice trip! May we always keep in contact, and may you have greener plains at America. You will always be remembered by everyone in class (especially Pei Yi) and know that you've left your mark on all of us. 3C wishes you all the best in your future endeavours. (:

Oh. Gregory doesn't know who HUANG is.

Greg: What's wrong with apple crumble?
Me: Its like. HUAAAANG.
Greg: HUAAAANG?
Me: HUAAAANG.
Greg: Who's that?
Me: Don't you know HUAAAANG?
Greg: Oh! Jarret Huang?
Me: No! That's like. Huang. This is HUAAAANG.
Greg: Who's- OH!
Together: HUAAAANG.

(later)

(can't remember who): Who's HUANG?
Greg: Dunno.

More recent encounter with The Knights Who Say *.

Wesley says:
*
' azazylix. says:
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NOT THAT
I WILL GET YOU A SHRUBBERY

Ah. Life is so much like a game of chess. Its like me against fate. Fate makes its moves, using people to narrow my possible paths, and using circumstance to try and checkmate me. Everyone plays his own game of chess against life. Sometimes your friends make their own moves, that inevitably cost you a bishop or a rook, and even a possible, seemingly favorable next move.

May we all understand that sometimes in the quest for one's own glory, no one can maintain whitewashed pawns, and those who do will be wiped off early. Its all in the alignment of the chessboards, whether you position your pieces next to someone for assistance, or whether you turn the other way to engage in bitter, cruel competition. These chessboards can be changed anytime, and though you can redeem a queen by placement of pawns, the number of pieces remain the same.

'Tis the game of life.

-checkmated once and it cost me my Queen.
And still I'm
just starting to learn what those rules of Life mean.

Reader's demand, post it is.

Recently haven't been doing a lot. Spamming Spore (which is a nice game which I shall be lending to Weng Hong tomorrow) and trying to repay my sleep debt. I am failing at the latter; I'm seriously freaking tired yet I can't get myself to sleep. Though I literally dozed off during my first Number Theory lesson.

Which reminds me of the second period I had today, Lit. My DMP timetable today is as such:

Maths.
Two hour free period.
Half hour recess.
Two hour free period.
Forty minute lunch.
Literature.

Basically:

Maths.
Five hours free.
Literature.

Heck, here's the whole thing.
I must admit that I am not really one who enjoys blog surfing? Seriously. Perhaps an occasional glance here and there, but really not a fan, unless 1. there are super interesting things that are constant or 2. my presence there is recognized and appreciated.

Which reflects another thing about my learning attitude. Like, I'll only learn the things that have a bit of change. Like archery, they keep moving the bloody target backwards? So I guess its kinda fun. Oh, I just got my bow last night. 36 pounds of string force. That's why I can hardly type now.

Ah, back to the point. I don't like things like. Routine. Maybe that's why I'm losing interest in fencing. We are practicing the same positions over and over again day after day. And table tennis last time too. Same thing over and over again. Sure, it improves our overall skill, but why not progress a bit faster?

Ben Yen (someone you people probably don't know) recently brought up a certain someone he knows is completely screwing up her life. Something along the lines of not taking anything seriously, acting like a kid. At that time I admit I was Bandwagoning, giving him advice on how to advise her but.

I'm like that too.

I mean, hey. I know I'm screwing up my life so far. Taking exams lightly, passing life as it is, arguing with my parents, everything. But y'know what? I don't care. I don't see why I have to act like so and so in front of so and so. Why I have to force a smile and look away when deep inside I'm beating "Just bloody go over there and do something. Anything. Stammer. Stare sheepishly. Anything."

Why are there so many problems in the world. So many dilemmas. So many restrictions. So much pressure. Where were the days when not a thought was thought. When not an action was thought twice. When all there were were smiles and uncaring attitudes.

Its not fair.

What if I died. Who would cry for me. What would happen if, really, I suddenly left this place for good. I wonder what'd happen. I can run away. Everyone else's problems or dilemmas will all be solved. Some people might vaguely remember who I was to them, and perhaps just the knowledge that I am thought of is enough. There will be no "love" or "hate", or "emotions" nor "thought".

Best now, and leave it as the child who had everything, and lost it all.

And stay a child forever.


//stars, hide your fires.

Checkmate.

Nowhere to go.

Camera spoilt. Can't upload anything recent, as a result. Finished two thirds, or rather, half of my AEP works.

Joy [x]
Damage01 Believers [x]
Damage02 Soldiers [x]
Damage 03 Kings [ ]
Prep board x4 [ ]

I'm getting terribly tired after these terribly sleepless nights, so I am resorting to super saturated sugar in super strong Milo with super hot water to keep me awake enough to finish-

SS NS Project [ ]
CLE Poster [ ]
Literature Genre Essay [ ]

Looking on the other side, tomorrow is the last day of school, and the start of the Differenciated Module Projects. Which reminds me, I have to go check my DMP Timetable and print it out later.

Got the second half of the Total War: Eras Soundtrack. Got that This Is Me song. Uh. Yeah.

Yesterday was. I dunno lah. During guitar practice me and Wesley were like, overpowering the rest of the section, largely because most of them didn't know how to play. Perhaps I fail as a section leader. Feels terrible.

Today was even worse lah. Screwed up Maths PT. 12 upon 30. Its not the teacher's fault, but can't help but feel a little bit angry, both at her and myself. Then got scolded by Sir Tan. Its understandable that he blew his temper, really. I would totally accept the blame and everything and willingly get scolded, but he brought up the possible injustice we had for his subject alone. I treat all subjects like that, I don't like being labelled as blatantly biased. But inevitably, added to my already crammed mental state, result was a terrible mood that would last the entire day.

Besides that, I've been knowingly screwing my life up. Making decisions that I know are wrong, screwing up relationships that I know are valuable, causing recoils that I know are potentially devastating. I know I'm sending my life to Hell, but.

I'm only doing so to force myself to strive to Heaven.

Look upon these words with the eyes you had nine months ago.

Look at me.

I don't see why we had or are having these childish, stupid refuse-to-talk thingums. Its just really stupid.

In fact, its almost laughable. Everything that happened in the last nine months is laughable. Every needless heartache, every irrelevant overreaction, every gradual progression and degeneration into what it is now. Its just so bloody-

I did stupid things. I thought stupid things. And I lost something that should never be lost.

There we go. That's right. I may not feel it now. But I know how I felt back then, and I know what I felt back then.

But more important is that someone who gave up everything for it. That someone who, to me, is really, truthfully the best, the sweetest and the most unique in my entire life, someone no one can match up to.

I finally recognize your sacrifices, and I want the chance to sacrifice all I have for your happiness.

I finally recognize my mistakes, my childishness and stupidity, and now I bow my head in shame. To ask for your forgiveness.

Look at these words with the eyes you had nine months ago.

Bring everything back to mind, and remember everything we felt.

And then ask yourself if you're willing to forgive the person who made you cry, and be together with the person who made you laugh.

If not, don't even bother going tomorrow.

But if you do, and can't find the right words nor actions.

Just hope. And stare. And smile.

And know for one last time that I'll love you.

Edit:

I'll just write here because I don't want to post a second time.



I feel like I'm falling into darkness, but there's a face there that gives me hope.

I'm letting down all my defences and I'm gonna reach for that light.

I'm not caring if the rest of my life crumbles beside me.

Coz I've never stopped missing you.

Will you pull back now?


Original post:

Remember remember the ninth of September.



Hmm, today's Bio lesson was one of the more interesting periods. To quote a certain part:

Kai Yong: Pei Yi, that is this part of the heart called? *points at right ventricle*
Pei Yi: Uh.. stomata.

Seeing his bewildered and confused reaction to the question, I can infer that it was an honest mistake, and that we must understand and move on. (familiar?)

Besides that part, there was the wild laughter at the supposed proof that those things in the cross section diagram in the Bio CCT were ribs. Also featuring an erectus spinae and the mention of "that is the largest and most organ-equipped dick I have ever seen" somewhere.

Anyway, the next part was the Assembly period. The American Guiness World Record breaking guy. Honestly, I think he's really good. Inspirational and motivational. 'Twas a good speech, ignoring a certain nearby discussion regarding certain stuff from who knows where.

Why is it that everything I do. I have to calculate everything. The chances. The probability. The risk of success. Everything has to be considered and contended with. My life is so much like a game of chess. I predict the situation, and act accordingly. I consider my best bet and weigh the scales.

Likewise, should something screw up, I would probably be caught completely off guard most of the time, as can be seen in a few of my more widely broadcasted and blogged mistakes, but the natural horoscopic ability to impromptu a makeshift solution, basically regenerate, instantly bounce back from a folly, does account for some credit.

I think its my nature not to take an interest in schoolwork, its just the way I am no matter how anyone argues. I have strong urges and interest sprees that disallow me from anything constant. Sure, if you ask me about schoolwork I can't care less, but if you ask me about something I'm interested in. Say "irrelevant" things like the Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Aztec history. Gaming tips. Handicraft and drawing. Guitar techniques. I'm sure I'll have a lot to say.

You don't look back.

I have come to the conclusion that astrology is rather accurate to a certain extent. Like, really lah! One example being the Scorpios, which are more renowned for being "the most sexually active sign", basically. See lor! We have Chia (DON'T DENY), we have HUANG (who conveniently came up with sexual terms starting with specified letters that no one else could think of), and perhaps Guan Wei (who was very renowned for certain actions during the Q years). A HA. ALL PERVERTS!

Would also like to wish Alexis (8/9) and Jech (9/9) a Happy Birthday.

Thought about it, really. Realized that things have grown too complicated to recreate a duplicate of the heaven past. But hey, I don't care. The two people who did everything back then haven't changed. And I-

Urk, I really don't know lah, and I don't care.

Is it so wrong to want someone's company so much that prescence and eye contact would suffice, and renewed friendship would be a joy?

Don't know. Guess it is.

Secret desires and deep-hidden fires
And betrayal, backstabbing and lies.
Not even madness nor hints of pure sadness
Can invoke any change of fate's dice.

Picture post!

Dinner where I got drunk featured a chocolate fountain, and because it was my second visit to the same place in three days, I remembered to bring my camera. Mashmallows~


Because I was bored I decided to do something. Yin Yang thingy in the center. Should've captured the waiter trying to pick up the plate without getting his hands chocolatey.


No idea where this one was taken, although I suspect it was just this morning by Ry. Though I was probably too deep in thought to realize. And that looks like Gregory in the background chuckling maniacally!


Question was something along the lines of Which of the above food components would be most useful to an athelete in a sprint? And yes, there written in dark blue is Fat.

Another spark of Pei Yi brilliance! Besides the one row of crosses, everything else correct. Like. OAHFSAKFSA.
Not to mention the hilarious mention of "internal intercoastal muscles".

And now we have Daron Tan queerly playing the erhu!


And now Li Yu trying to rock on with the same erhu!

And now we have Chia gracefully playing the same erhu-

-whose image is soon spoiled by the attempted slaughter of Li Yu-


-and rape.

Ah, the wonders of life!

You started it.

You grieve, you learn. You choke, you learn
You laugh, you learn. You choose, you learn
You pray, you learn. You ask, you learn
You live, you learn.

Before I start the post, I shall reply to Chia. The pause button is on the left what! I find it irritating too, but I can't be bothered to find the exact code in the multitude of words in the Template thingy. But till the time I'm bored enough to actually look for it, pause! That's what I always do. o.O And yes, gray and orange. Bag perhaps?

Anyway. Today is the last day of the holidays. Even though DMP is just a week away, I can't help but feel.

DESPERATE. SHIT. HAVEN'T STARTED ON HOMEWORK.

Besides that, yeah, quite sad. Didn't really make use of the holidays. As well as kinda excited and looking forward to going to school and seeing you people. Coz it gets very, very, very boring at home.

I was considering, after making the ship. I can perhaps, put it on the pond outside my home. And then like, dock it or something. Either that or. I dump an ant colony inside, set sail to the middle of the body of water with a lighted match tied to the mast. And watch a smaller example of the Battle of Red Cliff. Or Titanic. *is obsessed with fire*

But really, the ship is going to be more than 40 centimeters long. So yeah, don't know what to do with i-OH. Birthday presents! *claps*

Sigh.

I feel so. Lonely. But I guess, being a Scorpio. Its a trait to feel more drastically than others, and its a duty to mask it.

I really don't know what to do now. Where to go. I feel so lost. But.

Now is not the time.

Today is. A new day! I still feel a little bit vomitish and giddy but at least there's not the nauseating scent of thick perfume dripping off the mask of makeup powder my tuition teacher commonly dons. Remind you of someone?

Not to mention I have almost completely lost interest in the mini-ship I am building. At the moment half of the hull looks in pretty good shape but then, as my AEP work, my short interest spans and sudden interest loss forces me to reserve another spot in the graveyard of half-done-things. Along with my still broken Zakum and unvarnished Aztec pyramid.

Man, I really have to force myself to finish something. Even as a kid, I'd staple large stacks of paper together and try and make books? Half the time I lost interest after drawing two pages. The only two books I finished was my very first (and one of the two I ever completed, the other being an RE project displayed publicly) comic book which featured. V-Man I think. Irony how I am obsessed with a similar counterpart years later. I vaguely remember dinosaurs from when I recently dug it out from under my bed, along with a cat skull and a bottle of Vaseline.

Oh, and the other book was a storybook about Atlantis. Handwritten page by page. The cover was pretty and had the drawing of this big green diamond which was essentially the main plot. I sold the comic for fifty cents to a friend and felt too attached to the latter.

BUT BACK TO THE POINT. I must do something! Without motivation, I'm usually losing interest in any project at all, most frustrating being that I'm usually very close to completing it. Even though I'm usually terribly enthusiastic (to the extent of scurrying all over the house to look for things) at the start. Like when I run! Sprint, stop. Sprint, stop. That's how I failed 2.4 last year.

Ah, and let us commemorate yesterday, as HUANG passionately pointed out, as the sixth of September, more commonly known as 6/9. Which, if I'm not wrong, is someone's birthday. *checks* Happy Belated Birthday Ang Shao Wei!

Which reminds me, I will do a picture post the moment (if ever) I manage to get the camera back from my mom. I'm quite confident she will think twice. And yes, the pictures of Mush being raped are still there.

Hmm, I commonly associate colors with things. We probably all do to a certain extent, but I associate colors with people. Hah! Like I recently saw a darker variety of hot pink and Ry came to mind. Just last night I saw some person wearing gray and orange and I thought he was Chia. Those were more recent examples, but this association has resulted in my foolish "whups wrong person" things when I'm not fully awake multiple times.

Oh! Besides the fact that my dad is gonna buy an archery set from my cousin at a cheaper price (yipee!), like, the bow and arrow and stuff. I'm going for a holiday at the end of the year. Hokkaido if I'm not wrong. I will post the date and time and cost another day, but if any of you (I do mean any of you) are interested, just call me (97646167)(spam if you like, company's welcome) and we can arrange with the other two families going too.

Then again, as long as you're free during the holidays and aren't going anywhere, and feel that my company is better than staring at the computer screen for hours on end, I insist that you call me. Or I will manually start inviting.

Oh dear, still feel a bit tipsy now. I swear I'd walk straight into a wall later today. Urk, but for a change, there isn't a care nor depression in my mind for now, so it is justifiable.

I need more wine.

Today is just. Not my day.

Started out okay. Went to the library with a friend and studied a bit. After she left went home, prepared to go for dinner.

Then what happen? I get a bit drunk. Vomit in the toilet. Then go back to the dinner place. Stone there doing nothing, wait for two bloody hours while the old hags yak away with each other. After the two hours, finally. Go carpark. Enter car. Then what happen?

Drive a few meters then stuck. Long queue. Dunno what happen in front. Wasted half an hour before even coming close to the entrance of the carpark. Traffic jam. Try and take out my iPod, spoil. Mom took camera and saw a few photos (not of me) she probably shouldn't have seen, now its with her. End up get home 11:30+. Now.

Just vomited again. And all that happened while it was raining. And the few people I actually want to sms and talk with suddenly become super cold, blunt and cruel to me.

Okay lo. Not my day lo.

Bloody hell.

Let us quote the class blog, shall we?

"

I am Back

Posted by yu at 4.9.08 0 comments
"

A post by The Joker, the revered and feared YU PEI YI. o.O

Trust me, he comes up with jokes ten times lamer in class. Impromptu too!

Tomorrow's Saturday, going out to study. Maths! And I am abandoning my 2/3 done AEP work to start on a personal interest project involving a mini-ship made of wood. Its g etting quite terrible, considering my failures with epoxy. The bloody thing dries in under a minute.

Its 10:25, evidently not enough time for a long post; the damned internet locks are back. Removed at maybe, 12? Yeah. Usually as protest I stay up until then but. Today I'm not too sure. Probably will, then continue posting.

In fact, I have a lot to post about later. So any faithful readers should try waiting till maybe, 12:22 or something? I'll probably churn everything out by then.

For now. Quarantine.

(continued)

Oh, forgot today's a Saturday. No internet lock for me. Bloody hell, still.

Anyway, a few days ago went for a swim. And in the toilet I swear I heard someone sing the lyrics to Everyone's Changing by Keane. Distinctly heard "Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same~" And I was like WTFSTALKER.

And recently had a talk with the ice-cream man that commonly drives by. Every night, in fact. At his job for forty years. At the time it never sunk in but now? People live up to about sixty, he works forty as an ice-cream man. Excluding his childhood days. Seriously. Its very saddening. He's like, sixty plus now? And I hope his sons and grandsons are filial.

Just finished English Blogpost. Was due last Friday but its okay.

My teeth hurt. I sincerely hope its not a cavity or anything. Then that whole chun k of chocolates in my fridge will go to waste. Or rather, I'll consume it anyway at the expense of my teeth.

Here's a random picture of my desk.

My Zak in its broken spendour in the corner, Aztec pyramid there, attempts at a hull, blueprints as well as remains of mixed epoxy, satay sticks and ice cream stucks, the evil epoxy itself, super glue, half eaten snowskin mooncake and a portion of my phone. *finishes mooncake*

In my opinion, people are animals. We are really, just animals. In the end, we can't shirk away the basic thoughts of emotion and impulse. We are all impulsive, we all are defiant to challenges, we all require that much attention and care. Like pets. Really, all of us do.

And people need to prioritize and show others that attention and care. People need to realize that above all, we, as humans, as animals, require another's love to carry on. And people need to do something about it.

Actually, I kinda realized. There are many people in my life that are. Indispensable. In many ways lah. Most importantly, people like Chia, Suwe, Ry. Wesle. HUANG, Kuss, just to mention a few. You guys are my closest friends, the people most important to me. Don't know where I'd be without you guys. Really. Heh.

And then there are the lesser people? (how else do i put it?) One classic example is, inevitably and unexpectedly, Yu Pei Yi. I dunno lah, those days he wasn't there seemed quite dull. Mostly coz he was there making the jokes that made us laugh, although we wanna slap him for it, we won't be laughing if he weren't there.

Maybe Tak also lah. Without a powerful treasurer we would be hundreds of dollars in debt. This one is a bit forced coz I'm forcing myself to speak for other minorities in class.

And well, everyone. Yeah. Everyone.

And a certain special person. Its this person who. Crafted me. Molded me. Made me who I am. This person showed me innocence, taught me empathy, made me feel the sweetness of life. This person. Made me who I am today. Every single piece of the person standing slash sitting here. And I don't know if this person doesn't care anymore? But I just wanna thank this person for. Everything I am.

I believe that everything is fated. How would I say this. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. Whether it be break-ups or quarrelling, epic era after epic era. Everything happens because it is supposed to happen. Everything is linked, there are no coincidences. Perhaps it is for us to pick ourselves up and learn new things that can be applied. Maybe its to set the stage for a greater relationship, to wake ourselves up as to what we took for granted. Maybe its just to move life along.

But overall, this entire journey is still imprinted on one timeline. One scale. Its called "My Life". Certain years are going to be remembered for certain events, certain people are going to be remembered for certain actions, but at the very end, everything is there. Every memory, every experience, every day. Its there on one timeline.

Everything. Will be remembered, on that very last day.

A few nights ago, I dreamt that I would go on a rampage. I killed, I fought, I died. And at the very end.

It was cold.

But hey, everything's scheduled, innit?

I must've slept in some horrible position last night. Now my neck, my back and my right arm is hurting like crazy and Counterpain LIES.

Before I go on,

http://new.thecage.com.sg/home/the-cage-events/2008/may-08/the-cage-invites-you-to-try-sports-chanbara.-whats-that

Anyone wanna join? Tell moi, gives me motivation to go try it out too. Quite interested but if no one else goes, its gonna be like my rapidly deteriorating interest in fencing.

YAY Zhao Yun and Zhuge Liang are level 50! And Zhang Liao! (ignore that) but anyway, as can be inferred. Dynasty Warriors 6. I found a typo where at Hu Lao Gate, Allied Forces side, when you hit the enemy main camp gate it shows as Dong Zhou Main Camp. Jack.

Besides that, been playing Star Wars. Don't comment. Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords. ITS QUITE FUN. Just got my customized double bladed crimson lightsaber. Gave the single purple one to that old bitch. Oh dear! I think its affecting my language as well. SCHUTTA.

Yesterday I finished the first of my AEP works. Its actually quite nice lah. But not exactly spectacular. Anyone asks, I'll show. But a certain teacher says since my drawings are "story kind", he recommends I do three. At that time I was like, oh okay three it is yay whoop! But now I'm like SCREW YOU ALL.

I sincerely think that being rushed has a negative impact on my status, and according to the watch which says 6:02, the less-than-half-complete AEP assignment was due 2 minutes ago. But anyway I am in Malaysia so I cannot hand it up. (wink wink)

I am almost sure I'll post again. For now I have to leave for a certain cousin's birthday party, so ta-ta.

So you getting on okay?

Before I go on, here are the Latin (I think) lyrics for the very nice although chilling background music.

hellatorius victorialis (warlike; victory)
erastus necessitas (lovers; death)
honararius despondeo (honour; despair)
spiritus obdormio (life; death)
patriota gladiator (country; fighter)
afflictio ommento (pain; waiting)
divinitus salutaris (heaven; salvation)
furtivus libertas (furtive love; freedom)

As one can probably infer, its from Rome: Total War. One of the bestest games of all time.

An idea just came into my head during dinner last night; its about a movie. Well, I would call it Dejavu (pardon the lack of accent) but it would have met copyright infringement anyway.

Let's just say that a murder is carried out, and somehow, all the characters involved have visions of what had happened. As in the title. Then maybe the investigator has them more frequently and is conflicting on whether to trust them or not, maybe when he envisions the murderer visiting some place and he has to consider whether or not to station a police division there or follow his supervisor's instructions. And maybe one of them goes crazy. Then one of them intentionally goes against his primary vision, and is soon shot dead. But basically every one of the characters are involved in this supernatural thingum.

Then maybe in the end, the murderer might have envisioned his fall. And in doing so, makes no effort to stand up to the investigator. Even if, somehow, all the odds are stacked against the latter. Like, criminal backup or perhaps the investigator has one bullet left. So the murderer blindly submits to his visions and lets the investigator kills him. Then perhaps, the investigator notices a ticking noise, then suddenly has the dejavu feeling, then closes his eyes and is blown to high heavens.

Main theme is how man is easily made to submit to his own fate, even if the circumstances are in complete favor of him. Perhaps a weakness? I dunno, it would be nice if I had the resources to put this idea into play though. Send it somewhere or something. Yeah, hopefully this big movie star happens to come across my blog! (grumble)

Been spamming Star Wars these few days, resulting in an exponentially decreasing productivity rate. Haven't started on my AEP work. Nope, even though Monday was supposed to be work day or something. Bloody hell. I am operating at -42 fongs/minute.

MY ZAKUM BROKE. Mom pulled something then it fell down and its crown shattered. Sian, don't want to put it together again. Then she was like, "Aiyah, you should have finished it a long time ago!" Then I grumbled, "I did."

Finished learning and memorizing the Stairway to Heaven intro in like, an hour. Now practicing a lot coz its addictive and I can't really stop playing it. Heck.

I tried to forget the day laughter reigned, and
now I fail to recall.

Dunno, I think I'm just posting to like, inform everyone what I've been doing all day long. It'll make some feel better, might make some feel bad. I hope its the former, and its the reason I'm relaying my timetable through these monologues. Just to share and assure.

Browsed through some of the pictures taken a long time back. Well, to me its a long time back. Smiles? Laughter? I can almost hear the excited chattering, yet where did it go? Why is it that the society splits an invulnerably bonded, closely attached group of twenty seven that had, in fact, made a legacy, a legend. As the special ones, the one class that was different from all the rest.

And now, people don't even say hi? Have we submitted to the boring compliance of society? Has all the warmth, all the friendship been lost? What was it all for? Why is everything so.

Fragile.

Video slash video post. Totally videos. Comedy first:











Richard watch this pl0x:



And now a song I am trying to learn.



Dark blue, innit?

Oh dear, looks like my consciences have broken by lawfully abided format of the ignoring thingum. But its okay, it was starting to constrain my creative license anyway.

Just so you all know, I am totally fine. Completely. Absolutely. Fine. And sane. Totally sane. Just a little bit shaken due to stuff.

Oh, I realized that up till now I've been taking completely contrasting sports together! Like, as a kid, Taekwondo and swimming, one dry one wet I suppose? And one is limbs the other is chest and stuff. Then there came badminton and table tennis. Former is evidently wrist muscles while the latter forbids any usage of such. And now its fencing and archery. Fencing I'm supposed to relax my body and shoulder and all that, but I really don't see how I can if the archery coach keeps bugging me to tighten my back muscles and straighten up!

And I'm telling Tan Wei Xuan about certain rather traumatizing experiences I had since I was a child, including the Teletubby incident as well as a two meter high evil doll that springs out when a coin is inserted, ressurected from the deepest, darkest pits of Hell with the sole bloody purpose to cause innocent children mental trauma.

No I'm fine, really.

Went to Jech's house today lah. It was okay. Was there since early morning so it was getting quite ghdkajfgnakfsa. And I rediscovered the amusement I obtain from Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic: The Sith Lords. Slash slash slash. But it was kinda cool to interact with someone you haven't interacted with in a long time due to grudgular reasons.

All hail Darth Nihilus, the nameless, weird, incoherent Sith person who has bad fashion sense!


Ah, but if I ever get past my mountain of AEP work, his mask is my next target. Tomorrow, Tuesday, shall be deemed Homework Day! Everyone join in the effort. I WILL GET YOU EVIL DARTH NIHILUS MASK.

I feel weird today. Must have been some crazy things, and crazy thoughts I've been having for nights on end recently crushed.

Crushed, d'ya hear?

What an interesting day in an interesting age.

In a tender mindset easily bent.

And yet, 'tis not ourselves who brought our own existence, no impact never too great.

Who now, Lady Luck; Mother Nature; Aphrodite?

Love is for losers.

And yet when you have none without, you have nothing within. The stars shant hide their fires for frosted glass.

There is no such thing as total compliance, everlasting loyalty, nor eternal relationships, serve it as comfort or bitter reality is perception.

And any attempt at necromancy will bring but a rotten corpse of one once complete, we are aware, and yet-

We demand them more than the walkthroughs of life's game. In a bid to look upon a kindred face we risk all we hold dear.

And yet, 'tis life, 'tis life. 'Tis the bitter, cruel, pointless existence. We live, we exist, we breathe.

'Tis a pointless existence-

Which we shant hesitate on ending. The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.

Government is tyranny. Compassion is weakness. Hesitation is fatal.

Murder is justified. Genocide is salvation. Chaos is utopia.

Life is lost, love is lost, chilling winds in winter frost.

Cruelty makes perfect, abstinence makes none. Madness ensures that the game's always won.

The crimes of the crimelords hold not a candle to
The one on the bike, his grasp on my handle who
Steers to the road against anything humane and
Does nothing more than watch us go insane and-

The world has changed, seen no longer in films of sepia but in tinted glasses of madness and rage.

Of a life full of lies of what truly lies under, what the sharpness of lightning and loudness of thunder and-

Its not what I did, nor whatever you said.
You're not the person once in my heart's stead.

You're not the same.

The -- I knew who shared that same name.

Hear the call.

Deep inside, are you still calling?

Azazyl

Stench of humanity,
The rot of those fair.
Despair!
Of lost sanity and
Dreams never there.