You've changed. Really. When I look at you, you really aren't the same. Not only do I not know you anymore but. You're really different.

I don't know if its a new level or just a phase, but in any case.

I just can't help hovering in the vicinity. I enjoy your presence and your attention. I don't know why.

I really don't know.

Before I begin?



How muchly insightful. I like turtles too!

The sunset today is brilliant. Pity my mom took the camera with her on her recent trip to Paris. Shizz. Oh well.

Today was an utter waste of time. Results weren't too bad lah, can pass, and justified considering my nonchalant attitude towards the exams anyway, plus the replacement of mugging with Runescape. But y'know what?

Screw it, I don't really care. Its like my life is pointless. I have no goals nor desires, nor anything to look forward too. If I screw it up, so what? I have no motivation to do better.

Sighs.

Looking back on today, or any other day in fact. Really. I'm such an idiot. Living every day without care nor concern, laughing each mistake off and moving on to the next target every minute. Why? I don't know. I haven't lived any other way. If I don't, I'll eat myself alive from the inside. I need the constant spontaneous distraction. I'm tragically insecure inside.

I guess I've just lived such a childish life because I don't know how else to. I smile and I laugh because I don't know what else to do. I've lost sight of what I should really do. I do all this because its tiring otherwise, isn't it?

Not going to go down another "oh noesh I didn't mean to do so and so but I did it anyway and I regret it so much". But please don't feel sad. If you were, I'd be too.

Sometimes I wonder, if you would cry if you knew I cried, just like I did when you cried.

And sometimes I wonder, where we'd be right at this very moment, had I just left out that one part, or had you just overlooked it.

Ugh, I'm starting to rant again.

Maybe it isn't now, and maybe it won't be very soon, but I know that someday, that time will come. The day I've been wishing for; the day we had waited for, the day when we can walk down that stretch of dream sand and water and, for once, smile.

And smile.

And smile..

(28102008 post 02)



How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Don't think its too late

Nothing's wrong
Just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong
Just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

[Solo]

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong
Just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when.

Just as long as
You know that someday I will.

I swear the Channel 8 shows are getting darker and darker. I mean, seriously. In the past there was the happy jolly shows like Holland V and the Unbeatables and other exciting comedy family skits. Then there's the transition part, somewhere around 黄金路 and Metamorphosis. Yeah, slightly darker and confused plot but essentially focusing on the excitement and thrill.

And now we have the recent 叮当神探, featuring (my favorite actor) Tay Ping Hui (who I recognized as a Scorpio even before I checked his birthdate, something I pride myself on) and Dawn Yeo as the cops, as well as Shaun Chen as the antagonist with a god-complex. (essentially I'd say he was a man after my own heart, then it was revealed later in the series that he was a woman undergone a sex change so I take that statement back.)

But nonetheless, very very dark plot (which isn't necessarily bad!). The antagonist goes crazy after being set up in her medical career, then changes sex and proceeds to hunt down and murder people he knew in a series of grisly scenes with the same modus operandi. He then manipulates people in his own storyline and takes pleasure in heartless actions and all. Then he proclaims himself the ultimate victor and falls off a building on his own will. (is this what I had previously envisioned myself to be in the future? Who knows.)

And then of course there's the backstory of the tussling love between the two cops and their jobs and another one about a pair of tortured siblings fighting for vengeance.

BUT ESSENTIALLY the media is getting darker and darker. See the Dark Knight! Can't even see him.

Ur hur.

Anyway, was wondering if it was possible if someone could just. Die. Like, nothing's wrong, but his heart just suddenly stops beating. Not a heart attack or anything. The muscles just stop. Then the person just dies. Gonna write something around these lines later, but don't count on it.

Oh, and really, really, really sincere apologies to Weng Hong and Jarret and all the other people who had difficulty going home from my place. I'm such a bad host. D:

I'll come around to making a list of What-To-Do-During-The-Holidays-When-Everyone-Is-Away-For-OIP later.

Ah, which reminds me. I had an awful dream a few nights ago. This one's special, in that the voice inside my head wasn't in it. (I was, you just can't remember it, dumbass.) But it was awful nonetheless. Some really outrageous things that made me wanna punch whoever-was-involved but. Heck, why did I hold back again!? Oh yeah. Personal goal to not let jealousy get the best of me.

Screw, my plastic gun thing is spoiled coz Jarret came over! It was working perfectly well yesterday. Now you can't even pull the trigger. Pew pew!

(note to self: post the TED talks as well as a certain part of a conversation I seem to have forgotten on a later date.)

Ugh, I'm tired.

But I don't know why, I really don't want to go to sleep. I'm scared of my dreams. Seriously.

Sigh. If only things just naturally worked out.

Before I begin!



Pranks forever. Anyway.

I think I am inhaling too much pesticide or something. That Dettol Shieldtox. The mini patch of nature outside my room literally stinks of pesticide. Why? Because the pesky ant colonies just keep respawning. No doubt this is a clear demonstration of their determination and perseverance, but at a very, very, very wrong place and time. But as a result, my throat is swelling and I'm starting to grow terribly pale.

Besides that, I think I have a cavity on one of my lower left molars. When I tried eating a slice of leftover pizza just a few minutes ago, it hurt like CRAZY. Darn Pepsi. Kept me awake all night too. ....
(glances around)
(hides bottle of Coke)

But besides ALL that rubbish. I swear I am going to invent this keyboard that can move. Let's make an analogy.

You know a tank?

Yes a tank. Not the ones that don't move, but shatter into a million pieces if they do. The type that does, and rusts if they don't. And blows enemies into a million pieces if they do.

Imagine its wheels or whatever you call them. Now replace them with keys! SO COOL RIGHT. Then when someone wants to play scales, he technically won't need to move his hand. It'll make difficult songs so much easier, and 'sides that, its portable! (hopes that someone finds this and manufactures it so I can sue them and get monies)

I intend to weave in the Super Mario Brothers Theme into next year's guitar concert. I don't care with or without the chairman's permission, its just super fun. Like, out of nowhere suddenly ~bada ba bada BAM~. That'll make the concert different. Super Mario is the KEY.

Now back to yesterday. Super boring.

Okay, that's it. Only thing I found out is that DDR works, and I can LAN Age of Mythology with my brother. (anyone wants a copy of the game and stuff just contact moi) And ants can locate a piece of pineapple faster than it can a piece of ham.

Ah, I think I'm catching on to lolspeek. Lik, srsly. it are freekin difikult to muster doo to its kweer sentuns strukchur. but is okeh. i is lurning frum da baysiks.

Next step, 1337speek.

Hey, don't look at me! Its mastering a new language and allowing better communications. Its exactly what the government wants us to do.

(gets assasinated by Feds)

Heck, considering what I posted on this blog, I'd get assasinated for much more different and serious reasons aye? (if they find out where I live) Shish, no one tell.

I wanna learn how to play the piano. Can someone teach me? (hint hint)

A few pictures I forgot to post some time ago. Alternative viewpoint!


Prizes to anyone who can guess where this was from.

(prevents showing any evidence of camwhoring)

Haaah.

Sabishii desu ne.

Oh well.

Wasted my birthday alone at home waiting for nothing in particular to happen.

Hmm, and thanks to all the people who wished me a happy birthday (even though it wasn't all that happy). Even the people I haven't talked to in ages.

And to the certain (significant) number of people I talked to only recently, yet couldn't bother to even mention it nor grant a simple greeting.

Oh well.

Before I begin.



Watch. Seriously. (They're not allowed to laugh.) UR HUR HUR.

(tribute to "Hah! So now the ur hur is on you!")

If I may quote an anti-terrorism advertisement on the MRT, "When people's lives are at stake, would you risk not reporting it?" Uh. Report that people's lives are at stake? Okay.

And I found a typo on the AEP paper cover page. "THIS SECTION CONSISTS OF 3 PAGE, INCLUDING THE COVER PAGE." Usually I spend whatever much time I have after the paper to look for typos I can mock the department with. It pays off.

Speaking of which.

' azazylix. is FREE!

'Nuff said. Now shish! I am very busy.

But first:

Before I begin!



Oh come on, you have to admit that his dancing is brilliant. Yes, somehow linked from the Numa Numa guy in my previous post. I love this song. I will loop it.

Apparently today's my mom's birthday. So strange, since some time ago I've always thought it was the 22nd. But this does not bode well for me, because I haven't fully learnt Zanarkand, but its okay. Only reason I'm playing a piece as a present is coz I'm too lazy to go out and buy one. (sheepish grin)

Ugh, have to try updating my deviantart. In case any of you don't know, its at azazelix.deviantart.com, so please go there and comment slash criticize. I'm drawing the Scorpio related thing now, considering doing an entire series of astrology signs. Whoop.

(yes, screw bio, and screw lit.)

Have you seen your parents recently? I mean, seriously. When was the last time they said anything nice to each other, or did anything affectionate. I know this is a disturbing topic, so I shall diverge from it. Y'see, the society and its. "Advancement". It steals the feelings away from people. As people grow and as they are forced into more pressured and fast-paced circumstances, people really lose sight of what is most important in life.

Refer a typical dysfunctional family where the parents are arguing all day long and the child is a pitiful victim. Surely even them used to be what, the most innocent of lovers. They used to be just like us, teenagers and, perhaps, even more loving ones at that. And what made them change into such people?

"I'm the breadwinner of the family. You listen to me!" "You don't make enough money to support our family! I've had enough!" "How many times do you have to sacrifice the family for your business dealings?"

See, it doesn't make sense why people have to suffer due to all this. At the end of the day, when they lie on their deathbed, they'll regret everything they didn't do. They're gonna wonder why their life turned out so darn wrong, and they won't know why. We're gonna wonder, and we won't know why. The reason's simple.

This society. Is changing people. Gradually chilling their hearts from what innocence there was.

That's why I don't really support globalization. Globalization means bigger playing field. Bigger playing field means more players. More players means more competition. More competition means more pressure. And more pressure means desensitization to emotion.

Now, wouldn't it be so much better if everyone just lived in their little worlds? Well, not completely alone, but a bunch at most. There'll be no pressure, no stress. Sure there'll be no advancement, but there are more important things in life. 'Sides, advancement can always be small scale, one step at a time, one person at a time.

Maybe now you can understand my anti-establishment stand better now. Nothing I do is without justified reason.

Let's do away with society.

Before I begin.



Now, I came across rather interesting articles today. I did start off with the Pastafarianism of the Flying Spaghetti Monster but yes, every track has one useful stop. Here is Russell's Teapot, by the philosopher Bertrand Russell.


" If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time. "


And by Carl Sagan and the fire-breathing dragon in his garage. As can be seen in the link below:

http://richarddawkins.net/social/index.php?mode=article&id=35

And a particular analogy I found particularly relevant to us non-theists, posted by Matthew.


" With apologies to Carl Sagan, I enjoy telling this little adaptation of the Garage Dragon from the theist's point of view. The only difference is that I put a car into the garage, something much more likely to be found.

The athiest car parable.

Let me tell you a little secret: I parked a fresh-from the-factory sports car in your garage.

No, really. I did. It's there, I swear.

You can't see it? Well, of course you can't: it's invisible. Where's the new car smell? It doesn't smell like anything. It's totally silent- it makes zero sound whatsoever. That's how good the muffler is. Oh, don't worry about walking into it- the car is etheral. What? You're getting infared goggles to take a look at it? Well, I'm afraid by "invisible" I meant that the paint doesn't relect any spectrum of light or other energy that exists. But never mind about the details- let's talk about how awesome this car is!

What? What do you mean there's no car? Of course there's a car.

I don't know what the problem is- I know that there's a car there because the car salesman told me that there was. What's that? Prove it? What do you mean "prove it"? Here's the owner's manual- and here's a record of all the payments I've faithfully been making on it. Why would the man give me an owner's manual and tell me to study it closely if there was no car? He was so friendly and easygoing. The owner's manual says that there's a car- it's described in detail right in it!

Besides, knowing that I have a really great car in the garage is, well- comforting. If my regular car ever breaks down, I can just go to my car anytime, and it will be there for me. The owner's manual promises that.

Ok, ok. I can see you're getting upset. You won't come off of this whole "prove the car exists" fixation. The owner's manual isn't good enough for you? Well, fine: prove the car *doesn't* exist, smartypants! See? You can't! Oh, that again: you keep insisting that there's no difference between this car, and no car at all!

I need to leave. I'm about to say something I'll regret.

Look: we're friends, and we've got enough in the bank to get past this, ok? But I'm definitely leaving the owner's manual here for you to read- and I hope you do! I think you'll feel a lot better after you've read it over a few times. One more thing: let me be the first to invite you to join the invisible car club! Oh, stop it now, of course you want to go! I think that once you stop this "show me evidence" nonsense, you'll be happy that I, your good friend, bought you this car. Ok, ok, put down the phone! Consider it, please? Just in case you're interested:

Sunday morning. 10 AM. At the dealership. "


Now, I don't usually take up such an anti-theist stand, but I have to refer to Joel's blatant slandering of Dante's Inferno as "fiction". Now, I know I may perhaps, indirectly insult any Christian reader here on this blog when I say this, but the existence of the basis of Christianity is no more credible than Dante's Inferno, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for that matter.

If I may quote bash.org:


" Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand "

Okay. Before I begin.



Always was one who loves to play with FIRE.

I swear I had a list of things I was intending to do today. Just that I completely forget what. Misplaced it, perhaps, but among it is:

1. Try to wipe out second ant colony via bait.
2. Draw something Scorpio related.
3. Ride a bike to nearby park.
4. Pick up art-related things from local shop.
5. Mock Physics/History people.

Forgot the rest, but its okay.

EOYs, stress. Don't know, just don't feel as free as I should be. But heck. Didn't like school anyway.

Actually not that I don't like school, just that I think they're being too oppressive. Like, if people are passionate about the subject, they don't need to be forced to do more research on it. The school doesn't have to forcefully make the students finish their homework, do their assignments and desperately attempt to cram bits of "knowledge" into an unwilling student's brain.

Thus I am able to conclude that RI does not use a meritocratic system. They're forcing the students to work.

Instability breeds insecurity. Insecurity breeds paranoia. Paranoia breeds anger. Anger breeds hate.

And hate. Leads to suffering.


//oh, full of scorpions is my mind, dear wife!

There it is
Go on do it
No don't its stupid
You can't its too risky
I want to do what I feel is right
We need to talk
No not today another time
Again.
There is always tomorrow
That's what you told me nine months ago
And you believed it and it took you here
What am I to do
I don't know
What day is it, and in what month
All the times I thought couldn't get worse
Since the start of it all
Yes it has now
Even though the feelings have changed one fact remains constant
Yet the feelings are still changing
I can see you from across the room, there's a tear in your storied eye
We have been on board the emotional rollercoaster
And through the entire journey the wind has blown my words away

For taking your care all this while for granted
for not realizing it until you gave up
for the constant bullying and unintentional rejections back then
for being insensitive and over possessive
for not talking to you because i felt jealous
for making it hard on you all this while
for spite-ing you because i felt terrible
for blowing things out of proportion
for making you cry
for spending so many blog posts lamenting one-sidedly
for making empty promises and giving false hopes
for being some childish melodramatic fool
for not being there when you felt sad
for not considering what it was like to be you
for pretending like i didn't care
for not having the courage to confess
for not having the courage to say anything
for being too late

i

Before I begin.



So cool right! I wan try and learn. But dunno where and dunno how. Ah sian. Oh and I thought of a thoughtful sentence thing.

In finding the perfect love, most find just its perfect definition.

Today is like, some super wet day. Had swimming then thunderstorm later, and also had a water bottle fight thingum which 1. extended to the corridor and 2. involved some teachers such as NKY. 'Twas a fight I fervently participated in. Whoop

Ah I suck at piano! Sian. Just think of me playing piano as. HUANG playing computer games or Wesley Aw Ming Suan watching *censored*. Top secret, cannot afford to be caught and I try to when no one's around. Up till my mom's birthday at least, coz I'm practicing Zanarkand to play then. 22nd of October.

Once again, strongly against mugging. Only going to do a little revision tomorrow afternoon after dinner or something. Yeah I don't really care.

Heck, nowadays I'm feeling very terrible. For one, I keep coughing (unintentionally) and I keep pseudo-vomiting. Its like having something come up your throat but nothing does. Like if you put your finger down your throat or something. And occassional chest pains. Plus the terrible headaches and tiredness. Don't know why.

And nowadays I'm getting terribly forgetful, and I think I know why. Constantly living in a dream world, in my imaginations, memories and fantasies, to the extent I really don't know where I am half the time, and reality is as unimportant as a passing storyline, a fleeting idea, nothing more.

Forgive, but never forget.
Think back, but never regret.
I wish for nothing but forgiveness-

That which I may never.

Before I go on.



"No, don't do it."
"Go on, its just that near! Just reach out and-"
"No. Its wrong. Its a sin. You shouldn't."
"Come on, since when have you stood up to temptation! There's nothing wrong at all!"
"You can't! Its.. immoral! Its wrong. Its.."
"Perfectly normal for someone like him to do something like this. Come on, who doesn't?"
"Its a terrible thing to do! You know your situation. You can't!"
"Its a natural urge! Its only natural that you fulfil it."
"Its a natural urge that must be controlled! Control yourself!"
"Oh just let yourself in. A tiny bit of sensual pleasure never hurt anyone!"
"Please.. control yourself!"
"JUST DO IT."
"NOOOOOOOOO"

*throws chocolate away*

"Hah. I win. Pay up."
*grumbles*

As can be inferred, I'm temporarily staying off chocolate. Suddenly lost the taste, among other reasons. Oh dear! What were you thinking! =o

Ah, just came back from archery lessons. So cool! First lesson shot a bullseye, then got another one three arrows later. Of course after that the rest of them were screwed up but that is besides the point.

Today was quite fun lah! We had some orange hat things? Even came with straps to fasten them. Half the class used them appropriately on their heads. Once I get the pictures from Gregory I shall upload them. I had two :D And the mighty TAK graced the Hat-Wearers with his joining. Anyway.

Anyway! Was just wondering. The rising prices, and yes I mean the ERPs and electrical and food prices. It can actually be intepreted as the government really trying to reduce the usage and quick expenditure of such resources, or they are banking in on the human reliance on such things. Which is terrible, but terribly practical too.

Playing Runescape now, strongly against mugging (as always) and will refuse to mug until Wednesday. Sides, I have a lot of things to do. Including dumb AEP work and Chinese compo which I don't really intend to do till tomorrow morning.

Damned internet lock every night at 10:30.

Before I go on.



Last night had a. Thought provoking dream. Started out looking through a mask of sorts, through the eyeholes at unidentified objects, then suddenly got thrown back by a strong force. Then I am flung back onto a stalegmite/tite throne and the ground around me instantly burts upwards. In an instant spiky, violent flurry, I open my eyes and see that, rapidly rising above a land covered with blood and chaos on a mountain of molten earth, almost all natural life has ceased, and all the gods have abandoned us.

It was really like flying. Such speed and altitude; such power, such grandeur. And when I was at the top of the world looking down on everything, a figure I found vaguely familiar burst out from cloud cover, and I (somehow) pulled a sword amidst fire and melting brimstone in all its twisted glory, and leapt forth to-

Then I woke up, of course! But I do have a brilliant idea for a graphic novel I intend to either 1. write down or 2. narrate to someone so I can think better. Anyone interested in joining my crew just contact moi. Hmm. But the dream kinda made me realize lah.

There's no perfect land awaiting me. No Heaven, no grassy plains. Somehow I just know it.

Heck, I don't even intend to live very long. Maybe 2012, then I do something super screwed up then I die or something. Living just seems so pointless.

But at this current time at this current age. There are still some things left to be done, and I won't-

The times have come and gone. The choices have come and gone. The mistakes have come and gone. Everything; every smile, every urge, every glance, now remains a sweet, sweet memory.

All that remains at this current time is what comes next.

Before I begin.

Wei Xuan - ...!!! says:
loL!!!!!!!
daryl tiong actually wants to revise!! lol
ok! let me ask you..!!
whats STR?
and its features

' azazylix. says:
STR adds hp.
and aids hp regeneration.

And quote a particular RE SL group that got into the finals, in reference to the handicapped.

"..because they aren't used to interacting with ordinary, able people.."

Very smart choice of words, dear schoolmates.

Now, yes I know my blog has been terribly inactive, but I assure you its not because I am "mugging" for the EOYs. In fact, I haven't started. Its a personal belief that doing so is in fact, cheating. Its like arming yourself with a nine-foot sword when going to war.

Anyway, besides the fact that I have been playing Age of Mythology, and just recently succeeded in bringing my Anubi army to a grand total of 100 (after a few necessary civilian sacrifices for food limit, of course), I have kill'd many a Pegasi. Don't ask me why everything ends with "i", its like Julii and Principi and Triarii or something.

My last post appears to be Saturday. Now what have I been up to since then? For one, two days of DMP. Monday and Tuesday included most of our assessments, and OH I forget to scan in Tan Wei Xuan's poem. I'll get around to doing so someday. Failed the Number Theory Assessment. With questions like What is the remainder when (2^17)^17 is divided by 23. Yes its not even calculator-able.

Then school started. Oh wait! Not yet. Wednesday. 'Twas a not-so-merry holiday that I wasted away, took a few hours off and went to a certain someone's address almost knocked on the front door hesitated and walked away. Swear I screamed at the roadside but got home almost safely anyway. Then wasted the rest of the day not studying and playing AoM miserably. Oh well.

Yesterday was screwed up. These few days were a living hell for me. Went to school very sick. For one, felt like throwing up every few minutes. When I woke up I was almost as pale as Daro- I meant. Brya- Um. As pale as a plastic plate. But I went to school anyway. Halfway I actually threw up in the toilet so I went straight home. Coz I really couldn't make it for the DMP continued session later on. Screw lah. But teacher doesn't trust me and insists on an MC which I was too sick to get. I'll think of something.

Ah, but it was nice to see everyone again, and be reminded of my humanity. Have to admit I did go a little crazy over the long DMP sessions. Probably evident from my sadistic tendencies, dark humor, bitter rebuttals and constant maniacal laughter. But its okay.

Today was RE Congress. Quite fun lah. Lots of people, busy busy busy, went to talks and finished the booklet, made HUANG sulk when we forced him to eat at the RI canteen. Final few presentations on how Maths is relevant to an originally simple game named Mastermind as well as the effect of three different acids on the calcium carbonate barnacle shells. Something along those lines. Chia laughed like crazy when the former explained one of the criteria to be Simplicity.

Ah, before that during recess, went to the old 2Q thingum with a few others after being called there, hoping to see a few familiar faces but got chased out by some @ssholes (I really don't curse often). Hmm. Went to SFCH and watched HUANG suan everyone on the two pianos there. Sharing of songs in the completely empty dining hall and it was quite nice, really. Summer and Zanarkand were two, as well as another song I have to get Weng Hong to remind me of.

After school went with WH to J8 in search for a harmonica, which is really quite rare in Singapore. Irony how we have all the sophisticated instruments, different models different designs, yet something as simple as a harmonica is nowhere to be found. Anyway, futile search and went back to RI. Going to look on Ebay for one tomorrow, if anyone has just inform pl0x.

The wind outside is so cooling. Its.. saturated with crispness. These are the spoils for staying till midnight. An empty sky, a whistling breeze, bright yellow spots and dashes, and the strong sense of nostalgia of innocence and ignorance once had. Sigh.. I dream of the past. So much.

I miss.. everything. Every sight, every smell, every touch. If I could live those few months again, I'd give the rest of my life. I dream night after night, and when I saw that smile, I never wanted to wake up. There's no word in the dictionary that can describe this extent.

ireallymissyoupleasecomeback..?

Azazyl

Stench of humanity,
The rot of those fair.
Despair!
Of lost sanity and
Dreams never there.