Hold My Hand In Hell

'My dearest brother, its been so long!'
'Yes, my sister. Fondest greetings to my kindest kin!'
'To think we meet again, and you're dressed so wonderfully too.'
'Yes, indeed, we all have our finest moments, do we not? Take my hand! Let us go to a wonderful place!'
'That would be wonderous indeed. Will there be crumpets and or tea?'
'We shall see, now look around!'
'Ah, masquerades and hollow faces. I do not wish to be associated among mad people!'
'Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad. Or I wouldn't have had the pleasure of meeting you again. Besides, being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose we know.'
'Why, the apples here are red as a rose in a midsummer's day!'
'And perhaps they may be beautiful as them, if called by any other name. Perhaps you are tempted to pick them, to which I urge you to. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and the soul grows sick with longing. But watch the serpents, for it is them who stand guard with vigilant strictness. Courtesy of my dearest cousin!'
'These apples are sweet. How delightful! I didn't know you had a cousin!'
'Yes, I do. He is very sick at the moment. But in the end, the commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. Shall we continue from the company of these rather bumpy dancers?'
'Yes, but what a wonderous gate you have here! Of pearls and glass, what delight!'
'I'm afraid black pearls and shattered glass mean an entirely different thing, dear sister.'
'They are, in essence, the same. It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.'
'I pray you do not mean that as an insult, my kin, for I am taken aback!'
'Of course not, what is light without its shadow! Contrast is what shows us the terrible face of the bitter world, but it is also what makes ordinary men seem like heroes!'
'Yes, but it is also in contrast that man is most misunderstood, and such misunderstandings are, sometimes, for the sake of human psychological limits, best not taken.'
'Oh but blood on the knife and blood in the hand that did it, what difference does it make. Mankind will collapse under its own weight, petty hopes and dreams are what keep scoundrels occupied while that happens.'
'And I shall be practical in saying that the acts that the world calls immoral are acts that show the world its own shame. But alas, our talk had best cease. We have arrived, and I must show you the person who taught me everything; that the advantage of emotions is that they lead us astray, how vengeance spares not the weak nor the strong, that murder and masquerades are essentially the same. Here he is, th-'

'What are you doing, dearie?' said the caretaker, and the little girl took up the colorful pictures on her table, put them aside, and stared at her with pale blue eyes,

and oh-so innocently, said 'Just drawing'.



--

Okay that was just done for the sake of it, but its okay. Quotes quotes quotes.

Mom: Eh my colleagues all curious ah. They say you so tall and so handsome, they ask whether you got girlfriend anot.
Me: Tell them I'm not interested in older women.

Pretty song:

So the Little Bird Said.

'So what do you want me to do?'
'Let's break up.'
'Break up!? What in the world do you mean? We're not kids anymore!'
'Its for the good of everyone in the family-'
'Its not. Don't lie to yourself. Its a stupid decision, and you know it can't happen.'
'I can't live with you knowing that you love someone else.'
'You know its a lie. Its a terrible lie. Don't you at least trust me that much?'
'I can but I can't fight the facts with trust alone! I don't want to live with you anymore, get out.'
'Oh, so its my fault now? Don't you think its yours too?'
'My fault? It never was! This whole thing was your doing.'
'Yeah? Maybe if you spent some time not talking about your work, our daughter would've at least remembered to draw you in the family picture.'
'I did no such thing. Say another word, and I will stop being graceful.'
'You didn't even go to her birthday. You're nothing to her. You're a terrible excuse of a parent!'
'Don't talk to me like that, you f*c*ing b*st*rd. I'm more of a parent than you ever will be.'
'She's coming with me.'
'No she isn't, stay away from her. You've made her cry.'
'Enough with the b*llsh*t! Hand her to me, I love her like you never have, and never will!'
'NEVER.'
'Put down. The knife. Don't be rash.'
'DIE.'
'You- You're a f*c*ing lunatic! ARGH.'
'MY ARM- DIE.'

The little girl put down the two dolls in her hand, clothes torn and limbs mangled, and she look'd up at the inspector with pale blue eyes, and expressionlessly she said, 'and that's what would've happen'd if daddy didn't kill himself first',

and then oh-so innocently, she smiled.




--

I HAVE COMPLETELY LOST MY FAITH IN FACEBOOK. Quoth the email:

Hey Daryl,

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Check it out!

Or SuperPoke Jack back:

slap Jack

tickle Jack

kiss Jack

...or do something else to Jack

Before I begin, a few quotes from today.

"..when I ask you all to go 'pee pee' ah" -Jiheng, on dynamics of RIGE. (Childish, I know)

Mrs Elizabeth Foo walks past.
Me: Hello Mrs (muffled)Tan..
Mrs Foo walks off coldly.
WX: Eh, isn't she Mrs Elizabeth Foo? Joel Foo's mother?
Me: YES I KNOW I FORGOT HER NAME. ARGH. Tomorrow got Chem! She's going to kill me!
WX: Eh, isn't she your Bio teacher?
short pause.
Me: OH YEAH..
another short pause.
Me: BUT TOMORROW GOT BIO ALSO.

I swear, it was unintentional.

And so I was just thinking. They always say curiosity kills the cat. But after all, cats do have nine lives. Then what? I say;

Curiosity begins a story; Understanding moves it along; and Acceptance concludes it.



I was young but I wasn't naive.
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave,
and still I have the pain I have to carry,
a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried.

I would fall asleep,
only in hopes of dreaming that
everything would be like is was before.
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting,
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor;

..when my love for you was blind,

..that I loved you more than you'll ever know.
A part of me died when I let you go.


I have never regretted anything I did

Today has been such a day. After all, its the second day of the Lunar New Year. How bad could it get, right?

Only visited two households today, and when my mother stepped on what seemed to be dried doggie doodoo upon stepping out of the car, I told her I saw a black cat cross the entire family's path just now, just that I didn't tell them to avoid it, and how I walked a big round in front of the cat.

Sure enough, I caught a terrible cold a few minutes later, and fell down and severely hurt my knee. So I ended up sniffing, hacking and limping to the last household for a nice steamboat which I wasn't really obliged to eat directly from. Its really, really painful. I can't straighten my leg without yelping. And I don't usually yelp.

Oh well, at least I earned five bucks on the Mahjong table today.

I remember in the past I've always thought that pregnant women gave birth to babies from their rear. Of course, being a younger innocent-er child, I didn't have much of an understanding of the human reproductive system as we all do now.

Doctor: Its a boy! Its a boy! We'll just go take him to the next room to clean-
Mother: No! Pass him to me, I want to see him now!
Doctor: Umm. We don't recommend that, Madam. He's rather..
Mother: I beg you, I want to see him!
Doctor: Fine.. (passes baby)
Mother: Why is he covered in-
Doctor: You've been eating too many New Year goodies.

I crave. Mahjong. I hear. Mahjong tiles being shuffled. Or they be neighbours.

Can't believe we're going back to school tomorrow. I haven't even really rested yet! These past few days have been taxing. Kinda. More or less. Tons of stuff just waiting to be done. Keyword: waiting.

Okay I'd better be off, my knee isn't feeling very forgiving and my cold doesn't look like it'll be gone overnight either.

Courtesy of Richard.

It took some time to realize, but it just occurred to me,
That what we have is what we choose to see.

First of all, I would like to offer my condolences to the families of the two members of the Rafflesian family who had left us. I hope they find the moral courage to live on, regardless of their terrible, tragic loss. No parent should be allowed to suffer such a loss.

I dedicate a day of silence on this blog to them.

But putting that aside, I just had three intensive hours of Mahjong yesterday, leaving me terribly drained. I was doing okay, winning until the very last part. Which was. Horrible. *shivers*

Now an advertisment for Dilmah, Ceylon's finest tea. Its quite good.

Dad: And how's your fish- OH MY GOD. They're still alive! Dear, dear, come look (beckons mother) his fish are still alive! Wah, very good leh!
Me: ..

I have concluded that saga seeds can't really germinate readily, so I plopped a few into my fish tank, that was before I came across a rare website which says I need to boil the seeds for a minute or two before germination can occur. Oh well.

I will never understand your silence.

Sometimes I find myself just staring at the screen, thinking of what to say.

I cannot stop thinking about you,
and because of that you may never love me.

For a year ago,

I swear I will wait forever.

YAY. Happy Neon Tetras, you filthy earth monkeys.

Okay nothing much happened today, we had New Year's celebrations! Which was rather fun, because its the first time I got involved in a performance and was running around the stage like a crazy idiot. Of course, that was because my blood was rushing after being forced to run from the stage to the gallery with a stick of confetti, then down again.

Then went for guitar where we had to face a panel of four judges from all walks of life, a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see all four of them in the same room. Tense. Tense. Tense. Stress. Stress. Stress. But we did okay, all four soloists (three of which were from Moor) got through. WHOO MOOR POWAH.

Bought some food with the last of my monies, then rushed off to Math tuition where I learned that 7, 24 and 25 was a Pythagorean triplet. Or something. Forget it.

Talenttime! Is over. Sadly. I'm not used to being not busy. I'm so bored I could die. I shall sit here and stare at the screen for hours on end. Or play some random flash game regarding sticks and exploding heads.

If anyone wants to come over and play mahjong or do whatever just give me a ring, kthnxbai.

Okay today's more or less a slightly more relaxed day so I have time to post about everything over the past few days! Yipee! First of all a quote from our favorite teacher Sir Teo CY, regarding eating in class.

"I don't understand why people choose to eat in fear, hiding every time."

Can you imagine a certain bespectacled person who eats sandwiches from a lunchbox in class, cowering and trembling in the corner, eating in fear? OH NO. SO SCARY.

Which reminds me, ALL HAIL THE EMPEROR OF 4C. Low Weng Hong has been bestowed the title of Emperor, and Joshua Chia has been bestowed Prime Minister, with Joel Lim as the Finance Minister. 万岁，万岁，万万岁.

Quote a teacher whom I an unsure which now,

"I like Wilbert."

And quote something most people here might have seen,

"Jeremy, you're so smexy!"

As I said about myself, I don't lie, I just refrain from telling the truth. Its true! Its the same way I may quote out of context, but quote 100% accurately. I never misquote. Otherwise I wouldn't quote at all. Otherwise something like "I like my super xylophone" can be misquoted as "I like [..] s [..] e [..] x."

And with reference to our CLE teacher, who said something along the lines of "if you put your goal as wanting to retire at 29, I don't really think its possible" or something. Its called being a woman.

WAIT WAIT HOLD YOUR TOMATOES. Well sure, it may sound a little sexist but a housewife is an option for most women! Or a trophy wife. Or a prostitu- But really, folks. I'm not the slightest bit sexist. In fact I support female rights. Alongside fishes.

*shields tomatoes*

And an interesting quote from a certain Social Studies documentary I actually copied down,

"Its said that mine experts only make that one mistake."
"No, two."
"Why?"
"The first when they chose the job."

A really sad show. Its one of those shows that makes you feel like punching (whoever is concerned) in the face. Or faces, in the case of a certain international organization that wants to maintain neutrality in the face of murder. Oh well.

I have loved this song. Since I was a kid. Seriously. It makes me *almost* cry every time. *sob*



I think nighttime in RI is really very pretty. Every night I'm still in RI, I'll make it a point to visit the podium in front of the Raffles Square. There I'd sit there for an hour or so, watching the stars and feeling the breeze on my face. Really, its wonderful. Its like you have the whole school to yourself, there's no one around. You can sing as loud as you want, you can dance as hard as you want, you can cry as much as you want, and no one can see. Its like its your world. You can even piss on the Raffles Green and no one will tell you anything. Not that I. Did that of course.

But seriously. I love nighttime. Its just comforting to think that somewhere out there, everyone's looking at the same star under the same night sky, everyone's breathing from the same breeze, everyone's thinking the same thing. Its so wonderful.

Are you thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about you?

Not to mention I have just returned from Talenttime rehearsals which stretched till nine or so. *groans*

AND YES, ARMAAN. I AM LEGALLY EXCUSED THIS TIME. SO THERE.

Okay, today was rather productive. We did the banners because Moor is supposed to be the last house performing. (spoiler, spoiler!) So we spent the entire afternoon and the evening to do this! *chest swells with pride*


Yeah, mine's the "strangely disproportionate" one to the right, while Aaron did the "squarish" one to the left. THANKS MING SUAN. So pretty right, both of them. We basically projected Chinese SimSun (I think) characters onto the screen and copied them straight off with teeny tiny paintbrushes covered with thick, black acrylic paint. Oh and the best part, its on cloth! So the floor has a few rather visible Chinese markings now. Très bien.

But it was really, really fun. Just do a good job, finish Moor House Talenttime and walk away feeling good about yourself. And even though the competition part has been completely taken off, I still feel like its nice to do something for the house. Thank you Design Committee! :D

Okay besides that there is supposed to be a lot more I'm supposed to post about, but I left my diary downstairs and my legs do not allow me to go any farther than the distance to my comfortable, rock-solid bed. Hence after searching for a few new songs I will go to sleep. I'm too tired now.

Last but not least, dedicated to someone whose birthday I couldn't celebrate with:

Today's been a very busy day. Why? Besides the normal schoolwork and completely chaotic subjects, especially Biology and Social Studies, which I have not been able to copy notes for, after school's been a bitch.

Well there are three things which I had to choose from today.
1. AEP, which I had already missed last week,
2. Talenttime preparations for this Friday and
3. Help out fellow guitar section leaders with SYF song.

Every choice had its nice parts and bad parts, the first was utterly boring and I didn't do any work beforehand so it wouldn't be nice to walk in empty-handed, but on the other hand I would get a certain AEP teacher really, really angry. Second was kinda troublesome and wouldn't have been really productive anyway, but it was to be finished on Friday so it was rushed. Third made me kinda doubt the practicality of it all, but it was, by far, the potentially funnest option and the best choice.

So I spent a long time after school running about, giving reasons and excuses interchangeably while visiting all over the campus/looking for my guitar, somehow unfortunately/fortunately running into an unusually large amount of people from the first two choices, with me stuttering quick, conflicting reasons while I pulled myself in an opposite direction.

So eventually I sat down at a canteen table far from the design center and the SR Block, whipped out my guitar and tried playing the second, elusive SYF guitar ensemble song, Scherzino Mexicano with The Tan Wei Xuan and Niccol. Quite devastating results, but perhaps enough to get through the streaming, also this Friday.

I can SCREAM with the stress I'm under. And I'm seriously physically and mentally exhausted also! I haven't been sleeping well for the past few nights. On Sunday night I dreamt of a gravestone. Then Monday came the horrifying announcement. And I'm like, what the tak. Its a lot of psychological stress for me you know.

Okay then I also believe that one's sleeping position really tells us about the person's true nature. Yes another theory. *groans from readers*

Basically if you observe a person just before that person falls asleep. Especially when cannot fall asleep. If he moves his pillow and slumps on or adjusts his plushies, it means he likes to change situations to fit his own desires and preferences. If he twists and turns, constantly shifting in his bed while the accessories remain unmodified, it means he has to adjust to situations and has to find a position he's comfortable in before he can rest. If he falls asleep easily it either means that he just takes what he has and doesn't complain, or he's sleepy.

Something like that lah, also because one doesn't really bother to hide his nature when he's about to sleep. It is only during the most vulnerable moments can you see who a person really is.

OH. Depending on the circumstance, I may or may not be going for the final guitar practice before the SYF profiling. If Talenttime allows me to, I will obtain an excuse with which I can get work/stress/poke myself to death but in a more colorful method. Literal. We might be painting.

*screams*

OF ALL THE TIMES FOR A COMPUTER CRASH. Come home from guitar, switch on the computer, BOOM. Literally, coming from inside my previous Dell XPS 420, and it just died. Try to switch on only the orange blinking power button of doom. Used (using) my brother's computer and deduced its the motherboard corrosion problem. Going to get someone to look at it soon. I want. My moviez.

Blogging hiatus for an undefined period of time, contactable by email or phone.

明明如月，
何时可辍。
忧从中来，
不可断绝。

月明星稀，
乌鹊南飞。
绕树三匝，
无枝可依。

山不厌高，
水不厌深。
周公吐哺，
天下归心。

---

傲世三国，
三分天下。

Today's been a long, tiring and arduous day, and the huge heap of medicine on my table, occasional chest pains and breathing difficulties haven't exactly been helping.

Before I begin, I would like to quote a certain something in the library.

Richard: Wei Xuan sing a song about me.
WX: (random tune) Richard is a slut Richard is a slut Richard is a big fat slut~
Richard: ..Okay. Sing a song about yourself.
WX: Wei Xuan is a wonderful girl~ (pause) ..boy.

Oh, and Happy 牛 Year.

And being myself, my quotes are never unadulterated, nor are they deviant from any truth that happened. Hence I am reliable.

According to my judgement, the legendary 曹操 (Cao Cao, in case that isn't legible) was a Scorpio. The one in Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Not just with reference to the proverb "it takes one to know another", but really. He is
1. prone to arrogance,
2. does not trust even his most faithful generals,
3. never reveals his true intentions,
4. is always paranoid and wary of assassins (losing him the two naval officers 蔡瑁 and 张允 ,
5. had a huge, growing ambition,
6. liked poetry and art,
7. was sexually inclined, as in the case of 小乔 and
8. was a commander born for war.

Moreover, in the Red Cliff interpretation, he mentioned that the thing he hated the most were "traitors and liars". When he said that, I personally smirked at the shocking similarity. Personally one of my favorite characters in the whole thing along with 诸葛孔明.

If you don't know who these people are, you suck. Go slam your head against a wall and read the book five times over.

And yes, I am proud of my star sign, just like how I have a Scorpion keychain on my wallet, thanks to fellow Scorpio Davin for the birthday present, and a Horoscope Scorpio key thing on my phone. Ask me about it.

I can remember the Bagua formation! The Yin Yang one and all the different lines.

I think that I'm a believer. I believe in the occult; astrology, the paranormal, theories on life and death. I believe in angels, and I believe in demons. I believe in the things that go bump in the night, and I believe in the 21st of December 2012. I believe in true love, and I believe in happy endings.

Unfortunately, a lot of the above has been proven to be a farce, sorry to disappoint.


//though my heart is burning, breaking,

That's right, sons of submariners. I have just reached home at (noted) 8:37 pm. Why? Because of Moor house TalentTime, which we only started to plan/do/start last night! Brilliant innit? So we went to cosplay shops and the renowned MUSTAFA where everything can be found (seriously, I wish I could go there sometime and bring back a ton of cheap, useless stuff) and now we have to do background, props, sew sixteen monk robe imitations and a lot of spray painting.

Oh, and to a certain someone that plunged me into a bad mood today. Lying is originally against my principle. Verbal deception is completely against my morals. And when someone tries to force me to lie to others so he can shirk the guilt and irresponsibility to someone who was actually innocent and tried to put in effort. That is something I really cannot do. If you want I can apologize for "screwing up so and so's impression of you", but I know that I have done no wrong.

Back to today! Moor House TalentTime made us (Me, Aaron, Eddy/ie and Suf) run around Suntec in search of props where we eventually found a few styrofoam swords at Toys R' Us. Which was kinda cool. The place is bleeding HUGE. And then there was this one part. We got trapped in a one-way emergency stairwell. I mean, staircase is staircase what. One-way also staircase. So we open door, go in, close door, run downstairs with plastic bags in hand. Then I noticed dust on the railing and had a bad feeling about it but HECK CARE run run run.

Get to the first floor, "OPEN DOOR IN EMERGENCY ONLY. Opening door will trigger alarm." Run back up to third floor, door was closed. Worst part? No doorknob. Just a flat slab against a flat wall. Like, WHAT THE TAK. Trapped.

Luckily Aaron thought of using a key to push the spring lock thing before inserting a card to hold it there while someone pulled the door open. And we escaped the clutches of the evil monstrosity. YAY.

Then we went to Mustafa where the stenches queer smells run wild. And we got a ton of materials and saw a lot of new stuff that we all personally wanted like fake animal skin at 18 dollars a meter to make a nice coat that looks pretty. And in Eddy/ie's case, transparent writeable tape, which he proceeded to purchase.

And now I am at home at nine at night, still out of breath from roleplay as a sardine in the bus and lugging ginormously (surprisingly, spell check does not disagree) large plastic bags. Imagine a poor boy desperately waddling across the road carrying loads of stuff after noticing a horde of cars speeding in his direction.

Didn't take my medicine today so now I'm DAING. *gasp* *hack* *struggle*

Super tired. I am going to sleep now. Good night.

Edit:

OH AND THANK YOU WENG HONG. I thought I lost my cute little foxy forever, even though it was my favorite momento from the Hokkaido trip and I really really really liked it and the thought of some fat, drooling sec one with his chubby hands wrapped around his newfound playtoy was bad. BUT YOU FOUND IT ANYWAY. (even though I was surprised you knew it was mine) BUT THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH. (((((((((((((((((((((((:

To start off I would like to comment on today's guitar practice. Honestly, it was a really good practice, I felt. That's why I seldom prefer to come for practice if Sir Gaspar wasn't there conducting, coz our standard would drop like crazy and it would be a waste of time. But today's practice was one of those practices that made you smile with satisfaction after you completed a piece, namely Concerto in A minor by Vivaldi.

Yes, at least its better than some other fatal guitar mistakes such as, direct quote, "i broke my g string on a minor!"

Before I forget, "UP YOURS!"

Okay thanks to my trusty Louvre diary thing I have some things to write about. I have terrible memory, and I can't even remember if I returned the Vivaldi soundtrack to Bryan, which I'm pretty sure I did.

MAH CATUHPILLAH IZ PUPIFAH-YING.

And one interesting observation just now at the Raja block was regarding the RE teacher allocation papers thing on the boards. I noticed that all the names written in small caps were from Tao Nan. Super, eh?

We did some goal setting thing in EL class, and I'd like to point out a few. Some include "Visiting Venice with friends at the End of Year" as well as "be admitted to an art university in France". Which is true. Its so much easier than a scholarship.

Recently watched Burn After Reading, an example of black comedy, relevant to Lit. Its actually quite interesting. Its really boring to watch and sit through, but the storyline is brilliant. Sharp twists and turns that keep the viewer wondering what comes next, as well as a abrupt twist ending. Shant spoil, go wiki it.

AH YES. MY LIBRARY FINE. Joshua Suwe you owe me more than forty bucks, around sixteen for the late fine and twenty six for losing the book. And yes, Fragile Things was due in March last year.

Next year when I enter RJC I have no idea what subjects I want to take, but I'm pretty sure they include art and maths, unless something drastically wrong happens to my GPA of these two subjects by the end of the year. But I do know that I want to join the Archery and Fencing CCAs. Hopefully I have time to take both. Hopefully?

And now my conscience insists I let him say something.


Then if you are unhappy
what will you have me do?
a pretence not enough for the sunshine once there,
for i will sacrifice my happiness for yours, for you.
is this what you wanted?

and i've looked to the past and i could see,
nothing is impossible and we could clearly be,
but if we met not each other and of love never sung,
the evenings non-existent and we never were young,
then let us rewrite history.

For happiness was made for you, not me,
Choose you crush all my hopes but end my misery,
Say your magic words,

then we can be free.

Where shall I start. Ah yes. My physical fitness. As you all might know, I am not the least bit fit. I am hopeless at lifting weights, all kinds of sports, and almost definitely stamina running. I still remember in Sec 1 or 2, me and Wendy did the sprint-stop method and failed dramatically, Coz that's who I am. I do thing in short spurts.

Ha ha, very funny, perverts.

But overall, I really cannot carry through anything. One popular example is my art. Half the projects I get myself into are started with passionate impulse but I lose interest halfway through. Perhaps a lesser known example is my medication. I recently found some antibiotic pills dated last year which, as I remember, were supposed to be finished last year. But nevermind, I gobbled them all up and maybe I'll get better soon. No, I'm kidding.

Ah, we should have a class Photoshopped montage. Kinda like a class picture but photoshopped to one theme. Like if we had a Romance of the Three Kingdoms theme, Tak should be Zhang Fei, KT can be Diao Chan and under Bryan's recommendation, I am the cruel Cao Cao. Do I really look evil? *edits picture of self*

Ah yes! I am now a SpLoT. I am the Pink SpLoT. Quoth ex-Emperor: "my friends changed their nicks to darth splot, aqua splot, green splot, evil splot, etc.". MAY SPLOTS TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Sigh.

Okay first of all, I would like to quote our dear Deputy Headmaster in today's morning assembly when he mentioned igniting the "fire in our bellies". As always, the cynical voice at the back of my head was scoffing away, having just read the article about a certain incident with a certain MP. Its not everyday a 70 year old man pours paint thinner on your local MP and sets him on fire, after all.

I would've gone for guitar practice, and I swear as I sat in the library waiting for my mom's car I was really wanting to go to the guitar room a few steps away. But cannot lah. Supposed to see doctor. What to do. But really, sometimes guitar practices are pointless and its sincerely sickening.

Apparently they are filming a film on the Picture of Dorian Gray (thanks Richard for pointing it out) which I am really looking forward too. Its been my favorite book for many years, and personally I think its a model book, perhaps because of its inclusion of a tryst with the devil both within and without. Its so. Refreshing! Its brilliant. Pure brilliance. I personally don't read books, I'm allergic to old paper, but this is one book I am willing to sneeze my nose off for.

This song is from Orisinal, its called Children of Beslan by Steven Cravis from the Orisinal game High Delivery, and yes, I stumbled upon it while looking for another song. Which isn't on YouTube. Sadly. I should make one. Someone help me film pl0x.



Which reminds me, I forgot to bring my diary to school today so I can't remember what I wanted to type about since the day. And quotes. UGH.

But it does not matter. I have gotten myself an MC excusing myself from PE for a week as well as a ton of medicine I'm supposed to consume by the end of five weeks or something. So I shall bring my guitar tomorrow due to the free period adjacent to the recess adjacent to PE.

Ah yes, and I think nuclear explosions are cool. Reminded of them during Chemistry lesson, I think. I still remember some time ago Mr Law was explaining it then moments before he touched on it my mind clicked and I was like. Temperature = devastatingly hot. Hot air rises. Reach top and cool down and sink outwards. Mushroom cloud. KEWL. And to this day, I still find it interesting.

I am sincerely starting to loathe everyday life. Its so. Boring. And time-wasting. If there's one thing I hate about some things in life, its that its time-wasting. Like guitar sectionals. Like some lessons. Like being forced to stay back for no reason. If there's nothing to do then just let us off lah. We have better things to do than stay there and twiddle our fingers and count our toes.

Call it music therapy if you will, listening to some of it makes me feel so. I can't find the word for it. Ahh yes.

Sepia.

Okay last night I had a nightmare. The more important part is the part where I was drowning. Besides the fact that it was terribly real, I really couldn't breathe. I was literally suffocating. Then I woke up in cold sweat and took five minutes gasping for breath, trying to get my pace slow enough for me to make things out. I blinked a few times, panting heavily in a messed up bedsheet. And sad to say, I'm still alive. But aching all over due to last night's episode.

I am seriously going to see the doctor by next week. Wanted to go tomorrow but apparently my parents are too busy to send me there. And my conscience is saying, "Y'know what would be funny? If you happened to have an attack tomorrow and died, then your parents would regret this for the rest of their lives! SNORT SNORT" Ha ha, very funny.

I think there was quite a lot I wanted to cover in this post, just that I can't remember it now.

And I always wondered why don't they add those bubble bath things to the toilet flushing mechanism. So the thing there is always filled with bubbles. I mean, firstly it'll always smell slightly better. Secondly it'll help keep the toilet rather clean. Third its more aesthetically pleasing if the predecessor forgot something. Lastly it makes business less noisy. I mean, come on! Just dump a bit of soap into the drinking water and we're halfway there!

I got a new phone today, its a Nokia 6600 fold. Personally it doesn't appeal to me THAT much but its really one of the more pleasing of the lot. Its really quite good already. Compared to a certain PRADA phone I happened to see there. But it feels so weird, and kinda sad. This Samsung phone has been through a lot with me. I still remember staring eagerly at its screen on certain eventful nights. It feels so strange to be letting it go.

The caterpillar I've been keeping for a few days is now more than six inches long. And its still eating. And I'm running out of flowers. And my mom is angry. PUPATE. PUPATE ALREADY. And I am keeping this water snail thing in a small container, which apparently lives on algae and filthy stuff. And I'm not used to. Keeping filthy things. Alive. Its kinda new. One of my five fishes died, and that was before I read up somewhere that neon tetras don't feed from the surface. Guilty as charged. And I think Jojo likes me! Maybe it was the chicken jerky. If there's one thing I learned from oral diagnostic, its that chocolate is fatal to animals.

Yes, Joel, I'm not the hideous, sadistic, animal-torturing monster you usually make me out to be.

Oh, Little Big Planet!



Sincerely, I am not in a good mood today. In fact, I haven't been in a very good mood for a very long time. I'm starting to lose my motivation in everything. Everything dies in the end.

Ugh.

Okay today was simply tiring. Terribly tiring. To the extent that when I came home I just went straight to my bedroom, plonked into my bed and died of exhaustion. It isn't every day you see DT tired to this extent. SAVOR IT.

Mrs Tan Mui Hong: Oh, I heard we have a lot of BB boys in our class! I wonder how many there are. Okay let's start, Anderson what is your CCA?
Anderson: BB.
TMH: WAH! First one already tio BB. We're so lucky! Okay next, Arun what is your CCA?
Arun: BB.

Well today's first period was EL where we had to present our Oral Diagnostic and I had to defend my favorite food, which is, inevitably, chocolate. As some of you may know, my planning consists of the thinking up of isolated word plays and puns and then leaving them as badly strung things with a checkbox next to them. But during the speech I just totally blanked out coz earlier it seemed the others didn't have much time. So I was like, okay cut the crap, the essence should be enough. But nooo. Ah screw.

Then I almost died during PE. Seriously. I don't know why today, but it seems like my asthma has returned. It was very difficult to breathe. Good thing I knew what was happening and stopped to take a break. Otherwise.

Then came the loathsome Raffles Trail. Play guitar until my fingers all blistered. I hate Concerto. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE Concerto. UGH.

Then remembered this song I heard Chia singing some time back, although he sung only the chorus, which I liked. The graphic portion of the video is more or less uncalled for though. Its so.. blunt. I do think it would've sounded better as a calm-ish One Year Six Months-ish type of song though. Chia sings it better. D:



Sigh. Sometimes, circumstance is just so stupid.

In spite of the relatively pathetic results of my previous appeal, I have decided to post just for the sake of it. For today is a Wednesday. And we must be jolly.

A few quotations before I begin:

"Its not that I don't like regurgitation! I like regurgitation." Chia

"Where's my W? My W disappeared. Oh there it is." Mush on his Prada touchphone thing.

"HI SEC 1S!!!!!!" The Tan Wei Xuan

Okie dokie, the start of the school term means that its another year to go and we have to work super hard because we want to do well in our studies this year, don't we? And we want to do well in our last year in R- oh! We'll still be in RI next year. Snort snort.

After all, apparently there is a sign outside the campus saying something along the lines of "Raffles Junior College, 1983-2008." Am I the only one who finds this remotely amusing?

Well, school life isn't as happy and jolly as I had imagined and/or expected. I don't know why. Its just so lifeless compared to what I had expected. Which is bad. Maybe its because I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights, and frequently feel tired during the first period of the day. Or maybe its because I don't really have someone to talk to during the lessons. I dunno.

Oh oh oh, I intend to watch Red Cliff 2 the moment it comes out. If there's one thing I like about Chinese, its the Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Its brilliant. Simply brilliant. The strategies and all that. Here are the trailers of RC1 and 2 respectively.





Well basically the Battle of Red Cliff, 赤壁之战, is one of the better known battles in the story and my personal favorite. A combination of ploys cleverly crafted by the Shu-Wu alliance against the oncoming Wei onslaught. 万事俱备，只欠东风 came from this very battle. When the first one came out I was like. OMIGAWD HART. But was severely let down at the end, as you might have seen had you humans read my blog at the time. But its a good show. Its a really good show.

At least compared to the other video versions. There's one version? The arrows were either blatantly and obviously suspended by plastic strings or proven to plummet straight to the ground. If I may recount:

Cao Cao: *panicking* Stop the fire boats!
*flashes to boats on fire*
Cao Cao: Quickly! Stop the fire boats!
*flashes to side view of boats on fire*
Cao Cao: Aiya! Someone! Stop the fire boats!
*flashes to boats on fire again*
Cao Cao: Oh no! Stop the fire boats!
*fire boats crashes into Wei boats*
Soldier: We're on fire!

So there. 'nuff said.

Also, I've found an online Mahjong game thing but the only problem is that I have to play with real people. As most of you might know, I'm not exactly the social type, so I need people to sign up and join and contact me for a game, pl0x! The website's here:

http://www.gamebuffet.net/

Completely forgotten what else I could have wanted to post about, but is okay. Hmm.

Oh I have a fun new game called LittleBigPlanet. Go google or wiki it, it might look terribly monotonous but when you play with a friend its really quite fun. There are like, all sorts of things, so it would be nice if anyone came over and tried playing it. *hint hint*

Okie dokie time's up.


and would you guess the reason,

As much as I feel I'm obligated to, the motivation to post every day is wearing down, due to the speculation that no one actually reads this blog anymore anyway. IF YOU READ THIS PL0X LEAVE A TAG. Otherwise I'll stop posting and start collecting Pokémon cards and sniffing vegetarian crack in my excuse of a basement.

Okie dokie, yesterday was relatively eventful, as could be inferred from my lack of bloggular activity. Went to the dentist in the morning, half expecting to get away with a pat on the head, some brushing advice and a sugar-filled lollipop, but life is never that easy is it? They found four cavities and a cracked fissure, which took an hour to fully.. fix. It was so painful by the second cavity that I had to ask for that numbing thing that rendered my lips feelingless and made me look like a retard during lunch.

Okay, then last minute got invited to Daron's place for a birthday parteh! Which was kinda fun. Even though I'm COMPLETELY hopeless and badminton and squash and can't swim for nuts. Then we watched a horror movie! The Orphanage, which was really very nice, personally, to me. *spoiler* Its kinda ironic that the mom accidentally caused the death of her child in the end, but that really adds to everything, especially the last part which was so sweet. I love that show. */spoiler* Then the bunch of them had this mass orgy phototaking session thing while I silently sat in the corner twitching from exposure to excessive. Squishiness. Apparently I'm the family cat.

Ah, and if there are two things I really don't like, its vulgarities and physical contact. Like, really. I twitch at every mention of the f word, priding myself at never having used it (/overstatement) and cringe when my dad puts his hand on my shoulder. I do not. Like people touching me. Most, at least.

I wonder if its a Libra nature to be too busy to give a damn about other people. My mom promised to try playing video games a year ago, and said she would sign up to Paypal last month (technically accurate), and has done neither. Busy busy busy. UGH.

School's reopening and I need a ton of money to get myself new stationary at least, considering my largely vandalized pencil box. *cough cough*. Doesn't help that I spent my savings on GTA4 which my mom promptly confiscated.

Oh well, back to reality we guess.

Yay, and that was the firstest day of school. But first I will refuse to give any excuses for my inactivity besides mahjong and a dream.

Okie dokie, today went kinda smoothly, had headmistresses' principal's speech, and I really like the video because it was so nice. It was like, realizations in so few words. Not clear at the moment but, heck.

Was kinda cool to see everyone again, with their new haircuts and clearly more pimple-y faces. Our form teacher is brilliant, Mrs Tan Mui Hong is simply hilarious. She completely took the spotlight from our class joker.

Fingers are so sore from playing guitar for the first time in months. Losing faith in RIGE, because half the time the whole section doesn't turn up for practice anyway, and even if they do they can't even get past half a page. Its so bleeding frustrating seeing Gaspar as the section leader. Especially when I'm the only one there. Its like going to a meeting without notes or PPT slides, but having to present to a board of directors anyway. And with SYF nearing.

Going to play The Sims 2 later. That's the reason I'm Busy of unresponsive most of the time. Its such a fun game! With expansion packs, or maybe it works without, you can actually go out of your house. Shopping or to a community garden thing. So cool right! More things to set fire too. Oh, and my sim is an educator who traps other sims in his attic and waits for them to starve to death makes uber cleaning robots.

Dunno why people feel like killing themselves. Its so weird. Maybe its just me, but just killing oneself is meaningless. Silently drowning yourself someplace or jumping off some foreign building. The words of a dying breath are worth so much more than anything we can achieve alive.

If you are truly well, mind me not,
for I will be content as the sufferer.

Azazyl

Stench of humanity,
The rot of those fair.
Despair!
Of lost sanity and
Dreams never there.