Ah shit my fencing super off form =.= before interschools, twirling the blade felt so natural but now it feels like I'm forcing myself to. It's not even natural mentally; I just don't know what else to do with the blade. Goodness. And I have to go for Nat Indiv Trials on the 28th ARGH I'm screwed.

Right now feels like the kinda time I'll have an epiphany about this year, then I'll actually start taking my studies/fitness/relationships seriously instead of dandying about.

I remember there was a time when, to me, existential belief meant living Life to the fullest, when every second counts, even if it was used for hedonism. Especially so if it were used for hedonism.

What am I now?

A mere veneer of passion past.
A drifting echo of a warcry
over a brown, barren battlefield.


"who do you think you are
to change the order of things?"

"enough."



//laughter is the best form of medicine.

Azazyl

Stench of humanity,
The rot of those fair.
Despair!
Of lost sanity and
Dreams never there.