Google your name, and write down the first webpage link name that makes grammatical sense and is relevant or just pick the funniest one on the first page of results.
(credit to Daron)

1. Google “(your name) needs”:

Daryl has a lovely, gentle disposition and is great with kids. ... Now neutered and up to date on all shots, Daryl needs a permanent loving home with ...
(I need a permanent loving home. D: *ignores neutering*)

2. Google “(your name) looks like”:

Daryl Hall looks like a lion.
(on bad hair days.)

3. Google “[your name] likes”:

Daryl Likes To Video Us Singing "I Must Be Emo". by KOR-DAYYYY!.
(RWAR.)

Steve; Posted; Daryl likes coffee, vacuum tubes, and drums. I'm not sure how those things relate, but you could ask him.
(Oh ho ho, you don't wanna know. *wink*)

4. Google “[your name] says”

Daryl says, "LIVE BY THE DOOR. DIE BY THE DOOR!!"
(SAME APPLIES TO SEA ANEMONES.)

5. Google “[your name] wants”:

Daryl wants a crab this big.
(But I'm allergic to seafood!)

6. Google “[your name] does”:

MJM Magic Daryl Does The Full Monte [DVDDMFULL] -
(!?)

7. Google “[your name] hates”:

Daryl hates the police with a passion.
(HA. Too true.)

Daryl hates her psychatrist. [george, go die.]
(That's true. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.)

8. Google “[your name] can”:

Turtle takes Daryl to his house to play video games, where we find that Daryl can play "Pole Position" unbelievably fast, and quickly breaks Sherie Lee's ...
(Google description cut-off ftw.)

9. Google “[your name] goes”:

Katie Daryl goes pirate on your booty. Plus, a mass make out session in Italy. Thu., Jul. 2nd, 10:00 PM ET, Deadline! - 4th of July Special - Deadline!
(Is pirate even a verb?)

10. Google “[your name] is”:

Nicole, Kathleen, Jerry... now Daryl is next in line for nudity ...
(Funny thing is, I know four people with those names.)

11. Google “[your name] loves”:

DARYL HANNAH - DARYL LOVES TO GET NAKED
(WOO.)

Mark this day, my friends.

Mark this day, for Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, has died.

http://whoismichael.com/index.htm

Michael Jackson has died a victim of the world, but also as a legend. His musicality and talent will forever resonate throughout the world as a permanent mark in the standard of music.

Alas, having tasted the sweet fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, he had invoked jealousy, forcefully expelled out of the Garden of Eden he himself created.

Evan Chandler, the jealous, ruthless, cruel and foolish father: who are you to play God? You are a disgrace to the title of 'father'. You are not fit for your son.

"Everything's going according to a certain plan that isn't just mine. Once I make that phone call, this guy [his attorney, Barry K. Rothman, presumably] is going to destroy everybody in sight in any devious, nasty, cruel way that he can do it. And I've given him full authority to do that.

..."And if I go through with this, I win big-time. There's no way I lose. I've checked that inside out. I will get everything I want, and they will be destroyed forever. June will lose [custody of the son]...and Michael's career will be over."

And so Michael Jackson dies, wronged, maligned, discriminated, hated. Dead at the brink of his rebirth. As a child, misunderstood by the world.

So mark this day; mark it, as the end of an era, the closure to a tragedy, the last page of a storybook.

For today, the King of Pop has died.

' dart.: says:
nice pm

Wei Xuan says:
YAY! YOU"RE BACK?!
then why your facebook message say tomorrow O.O
LOL!

' dart.: says:
o.o
uh
coz i typed it yesterdayt

Wei Xuan says:
because i have been farting the whole night! (:
OHHHHHHH!

' dart.: says:
BIMBO

' dart.: says:
uh in case you didn't know
o.o
avocadoes
actually
help your ovum

Kwun Tong says:
HUH

' dart.: says:
i think ovum

Wei Xuan says:
DRAGONFRUIT IS NICEE!!
THEY HELP IN CONSTIPATION
BECAUSE YOU WILL EGEST BLACK SEEDS AFTER EATING IT!
AND I HAVE NO OVUM!
THATS A FEMAL RESPIRATORY ORGAN RIGHT?!

' dart.: says:
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA

..

' dart.: says:
its like my face
but with plaster of paris

Wei Xuan says:
AND KT! I SHOWED YOU THAT SONG LIKE AGES AGO
O.o

' dart.: says:
I JUST REALIZED THE PUN
PARIS
NAPOLEON IS EMPEROR OF FRANCE
UR HUR HUR

Wei Xuan says:
O.O
HE IS?

' dart.: says:
o.o

Wei Xuan says:
i thought it was germany o.o

Holiday goals:

Learn about:
-Napoleon Bonaparte
-Joseph Stalin & Vladmir Lenin
-Julius Caesar
-Spartacus
-Hernan Cortes
-Richard the Lioheart
-Tokugawa Ieyasu
-Attila the Hun

Complete AEP Homework
Progress: Faic!

Read the Holy Bible
Progress: Starting on the New Testament.

Purchase following books:
-Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett
-The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins
-A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis
-Beyond Good & Evil, Nietzsche
-Twilight of the Idols, Nietzsche
-120 Days of Sodom, Marquis de Sade
(Note: Just for the sake of provoking Bryan Cheong)
-Grimorium Verum

Learn accents.

Azazyl

Stench of humanity,
The rot of those fair.
Despair!
Of lost sanity and
Dreams never there.