Obligatory posts ftw.

Okay I have no idea what I'm doing up so late. I just watched the Matrix Reloaded disc thing that I recently found somewhere downstairs while multitasking a SoaSE game and sourcing quotes from Dorian Gray. I swear, this book will run me into the ground sooner or later.


"Never mind, Lady Narborough. I smoke a great deal too much. I am going to limit myself, for the future."

"Pray don't, Lady Ruxton," said Lord Henry. "Moderation is a fatal thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a feast."


Going to sleep soon but there is only one point I'd like to bring up.

I find myself having difficulty curbing whatever desire I have. If, perhaps, the idea of watching a movie pops into my mind, after a pseudo-argument with myself I'd most probably end up in the cinema at most ten minutes later, even if I did have three tests the following day. If I suddenly remember the chocolate brownies I have stored downstairs, I'd almost definitely ignore the even-more-so-than-ever prevalent threat of diabetes and have one on my table in less than five.

In mild conclusion, I'm completely running my life into the ground. But what matters; why worry about tomorrow when you can frolic around today? I know some things taught me that youth never lasts; nothing ever does, so what privileges we have now are better spent. Time is jealous of all of us, and wages war against our very existence.

But the more important question remains as this. Perhaps the lot of you might say, 'bah! This is weakness!' but what is true weakness? Is Strength having the 'courage' and 'morality', to say no to every temptation and turn away various opportunities for Self-exploration? Or is Strength having the unquenchable desire; the irrevocable passion that itches from the inside, and even more so a scope and variety of Means just as flexible to accommodate such radical dreams.

In essence, does true Strength lie in 'righteous' self-denial: the pride and confidence that occasionally comes with Conscience (if any), or in accepting the Demons: its boundless aspirations, its endless possibilities and your combined strength;

The same way a raving, raging, rampaging bull can be said to live far more than his cousins in the sty. The same way an ancient warrior might feel more fulfilled than the philosophers of a similar time. The same way running on the streets far precedes the same stuffy room day after day.

See, its inherent in human nature to run amok and wreak havoc every once in a while; its a form of freedom, as essential to any animal as liquid or sustenance, the same way dogs need their walks and fish need their space. Its in our nature to rip apart a thing or two, to occasionally oversee some mayhem and laugh at your doing. Its in our character to succumb to the all-too-common temptation, to mock the consequences and shrug it off.

Sadism, Hedonism, Individualism, it runs in our very-much human Blood, fills up every vessel, spills into every Thought, and every Dream. It influences every Passion, twists every Decision, is a part of every Consequence.

Every Hatred, every Heresy, every Tyranny, every Treachery, every Blasphemy, every Betrayal, every Deception, every Denial, every Fraud, every Vanity, every Law and every Lie.

Every Action and every Consequence,

Every Reason and every Excuse.

Everywhere,

Everyone.

There's no escaping it, so why must I?

Azazyl

Stench of humanity,
The rot of those fair.
Despair!
Of lost sanity and
Dreams never there.