Day 11:

Was experimenting with the poisons I had collected from various little animals on the island when I stumbled, sample in hand, and contaminated the growing beansprouts. Roots started to turn brown and gave off a foul, rotting odor, so I buried the patch as a failed harvest. Will try to salvage some beans after the smell goes away.

Haven't heard from the village people for quite some time. Normally there's loud drum beats and the lot, but these two days have been quiet enough for me to actually concentrate on what I am doing. Not that I don't like the melody of the evening forests, but I am starting to get a bit worried that something had happened to the village. Maybe they migrated to greener pastures. Selfish bastards.

Every time I think of you, I just abruptly lose all my strength. I drop whatever I'm doing, my hands fall limp beside me, and I collapse to the ground if I'm standing, which happened more than once. I just. Lost all my strength and will to carry on.

Have you ever wondered that maybe, just maybe, everything I did was to get your attention? That I wrote terrible words because I wanted you to say something. That I spite-ed you because I really wanted you to look at me.

Sigh.

Azazyl

Stench of humanity,
The rot of those fair.
Despair!
Of lost sanity and
Dreams never there.